LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Breaking Up, Reconciliation & Coping > Separation and Divorce

First Step


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

Like Tree5Likes
  • 1 Post By CautiouslyOptimistic
  • 3 Post By BluesPower
  • 1 Post By CautiouslyOptimistic
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 2nd October 2017, 6:40 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 17
First Step

After 11 years of marriage my wife and I have grown so far apart that it's only a matter of time. I'm ready to get on with my life but don't know how or have the courage to take that first step.

Would moving in to my detached mancave and stop contributing to the joint account be a good way to get things going?
deadend17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 7:31 PM   #2
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,362
I think a conversation is probably the best way to get things going.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 7:34 PM   #3
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 17
Ah I wish it were that easy.
deadend17 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 10:36 PM   #4
Established Member
 
BluesPower's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 2,320
De17...

Brother it is that easy, please don't be a puss.

If you are done then have the balls to tell her and talk to her. Let her know that you are done and you want out.

Also, unless you are just venting, it would help us if we understood what is going on in the marriage and with you. That way, it would be easier for us to give an opinion.
BluesPower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd October 2017, 10:37 PM   #5
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 1,362
Quote:
Originally Posted by deadend17 View Post
Ah I wish it were that easy.
Nobody said ending a marriage was supposed to be easy.
reboot likes this.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd October 2017, 3:59 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 93
I don't think cutting her off financially is the answer just yet. I watched a great video on how to tell your partner you want a divorce. The therapist suggested a blunt but non-accusatory tone. For instance, you sit the person down and say,"I feel that we are not happy and we should divorce. I don't feel the marriage is salvageable at this point. I don't want to place blame or argue. I want to give you time to think through what I have said, so I am going to leave for a few hours. When I get back, I hope we can talk. I don't want to fight in court and hope we can come to civil agreements. This doesn't place blame or put the other person on the defensive so much. Then leave. When you return, hopefully you can have the discussion and answer questions. Stick with, "I Feel" statements.
Then tell her that you plan to move to your mancave to give both of you time to adjust to the new norm and hope that you can both remain civil and work through what comes next. Then you have to mean it, file with the courts, have her served and separate accounts at that point. Hopefully you will come to an agreement financially how to separate.
I have been contemplating for years. Hard to do it. Very hard, but if you are absolutely sure, start researching the steps in your area on how to file, etc. then have the difficult talk in a gentle way, if possible.
MidlifeMama is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Step by Step to make you a Lady killer - 299$ ebook but now it's FREE :D vodanh1213 Dating 0 4th August 2011 6:06 AM
Dealing with step a step child and a wife tied to her family chethiapiela Marriage & Life Partnerships 0 20th July 2008 6:25 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 2:16 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.