Morgan_b143 Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 This has been the hardest week of my life. I only met him a little over a month ago from his sister. His sister and I are really close in school and she set us up. He is amazing. We spent every single day and night together. We practically lived together. He came to my hometown to meet my family and friends, and I went to his parents house a few times for cookouts. He was the first guy that actually treated me right, the first family I actually really enjoyed. His friends became my close friends and I grew attached very fast. I opened up to him like never before with anyone else. I was so comfortable around him, his friends, his family, everyone. I didn't realize you could fall in love in such a short period of time, but damn did I fall hard. He was perfect in my eyes. We got along so perfectly and it was the best feeling in the world. I finally thought to myself that I found the one. I knew he would have baggage since he got married a couple years ago to his now ex. She recently left him a few months ago, and I knew it was hard for him because of his sister talking about it. I knew he still had major feelings for her when he would talk **** about her. If they talk about it, they care about it. I questioned him about it and that's when everything turned. The next day he called me and told me he needed space and time to think about what he's doing with his life. He was supposed to sign the divorce papers a few days ago but was waiting for the money so he could do it. Whenever he told me this is broke my heart. Worse then any of my past relationships. Him and his sister are very close and he told her that the more time he spent with me, the more he knew his ex was the girl for him. Ouch. I understand they were married and that's not something that happens everyday. I can't stop crying. My heart feels gone and I don't know what else to do. I just want to know if he'll come back or if it's over completely. I need answers but I know he doesn't know either. I'm keeping myself busy but everything I see or do, reminds me of him. Please give me answers and help. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 I wouldn't put too much faith in him returning to you. He is still in love with his wife and if she wants him back she is probably still in love with him. Given that they have only been married 2 years they may be having problems adjusting to married life but the love is still there. You cannot be his friend because that will keep you in pain. Do not date him again until you see divorce papers and he has had time to heal from the divorce. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 You don't want him since he is still totally stuck on his previous wife. Next time don't move so fast with the guy. Being that attached after only a month isn't healthy. Date. But date in a slower manner. Don't go all in until he proves he is invested LONG term and over his baggage/past. Be smart. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 You've only known the guy for a month, for goodness sakes. You both fast tracked the relationship - which is never healthy. And, now you have been burned because it turns out that you were a rebound relationship and he has returned to his wife. You saw the warning signs, and chose to ignore them. I'm sorry for your hurt, but seriously - where is your common sense? Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 I just want to know if he'll come back So what if he does? He has shown that he is simply not that into you. He treated you like a piece of dirt on his shoe. He dumped you unceremoniously as soon as his ex snapped her fingers. Why on earth would you give him the time of day, if he came knocking??? Have some self respect. If he does come back, send him packing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 You dated him a month - why is this in the separation and divorce section? Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 Morgan b143, don't be too hard on yourself. You responded in a natural way to a man who opened up to you quickly, too, by including you in family and close-friend events and, it seems, spending 24/7 with you. Since he was fresh out of a relationship with someone he was deeply involved with (and if I recall she left him, not the other way around) it's most likely hard for him to think of being with anyone else at all. You'd be wise to stay completely away from him even if they split up, giving him a very long time to heal before dating him again. Link to post Share on other sites
Jstub Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 so you date a guy for a month. You know the guy isn't even divorced and is recently separated (big rebound potential). The guy tells his sister that spending time with you made him realize how much he wants to be with his wife (that's gotta hurt ....) and you are wasting time trying to see if some total stranger on the internet is going to give you hope that he is coming back to you? Please, please.. take a deep breath and think about it for a second. Does it make any sense to you??? Also... You are so lucky! you dodged a bullet.. you are lucky this is happening now and not in a year.. the guy's not ready.. even if he doesn't end up going back to his wife, you need to look elsewhere. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 my theory is more optimistic their marriage will fail, already they can not live together... your job is to be ready for him then, so no brooding, no confiding in his sister (it will get back to him), just party hard, for everybody likes a funster 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted July 12, 2017 Share Posted July 12, 2017 OP, it is not you. It is another example of how people are not ready to date for 1 year after a relationship ends. This man's marriage still has not ended so he is no where near meeting the 1 year requirement before he dates again. Link to post Share on other sites
Superchicken Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 my theory is more optimistic their marriage will fail, already they can not live together... your job is to be ready for him then, so no brooding, no confiding in his sister (it will get back to him), just party hard, for everybody likes a funster On the other side of the coin. They (His wife and himself) know what its like to be apart from each other. They kept their feelings alive even when with others. They have history (Not just bad). They planned and were executing their future. They know each other quirks, and so on.. It really comes down to why they "Really" separated in the first place. Sometimes. divorce is too easily put into the argument, and, me for instance, if told this "Word", and being a stubborn ass, I would have agreed to it, and followed it through. Why ?, because like I said, I'm a stubborn ass. I never like (Well, all men) to come out of an argument second best. However, once that anger and frustration is taken over by loneliness, and missing of ones lost partner, you come to your senses. Then make every effort to patch things up, and try not to make the same mistakes again. Yeah, its not always successful, and of course some just do get divorced. But in this case, I dunno !!!. Ted Link to post Share on other sites
aileD Posted July 13, 2017 Share Posted July 13, 2017 You're the rebound girl Never get involved with someone who's recently separated. They usually go through an on again/off again phase with their possible ex spouse. Let them do that. Marriage is more important than a month long relationship, no offense. They deserve to be able to figure things out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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