digger Posted March 8, 2005 Share Posted March 8, 2005 i talked to my daughter today... i get hurt more n more it sounds like she has forgiving me for all the bad times as for my EW--even though i found out by my dghter over xmas they were no longer moving to TX, my daughter says her and "he" talk every night on the phone "like teenagers". I thot since she wasnt moving there was not much to it...and now this! It hurts so terribly bad. I told my dghter--but 2 weeks before the D papers she was laying her head on my shoulders. Daughter says sadly "i know". Im devastated and dghter says all she does is 'bitch' about her going out to 'get a job'. When will it end? I never thot id see the day. The love of my life tears it in half like a kleenex. Please someone say something to make it better tonight. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 huggggggggggzzzzzzzzzzzz there that better? I will go back and read your story eventually, but my pie is burning in the oven!!!! take care, get some sleep tonight. Wake up and thank the heavens for another beautiful day to breathe in that fresh almost spring air (well, here it's about 20 below, but ya can't get much fresher than that!) Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, Digger. Have you seen your medical doctor lately? I'm trying to remember if you've had treatment for depression. If you're currently on AD's, you might need to have your doctor adjust them. Hang in there. Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 9, 2005 Share Posted March 9, 2005 I read every one of your posts from start to finish. I feel for you, and you have come a very long way in a very short year. A few replies have been harsh, and some have been very caring and thoughtful. I hope to be one of the more compassionate ones, but I do have to say a few things. I don't doubt for a second that your wife had an affair with her boss. From my own experience, my ex H would have to be blind to believe that I wasn't having an affair before we separated even though I said there was no sex. It also sounds to me like the NC of yours is only a game you are playing. There MUST be contact between you and your EW for your daughters sake! I realize she is almost an adult, but you need to communicate with your Ex wife about what's going on in your daughter's life. If you restrict the conversations to that and only that, I believe she will be friendly toward you. If she wants to come back, let her make the first move. I'm not saying to act like you don't care for her, just no more pleading or begging or even saying I love you to her. It's very unbecoming, unattractive, and pathetic to say the least. I dated a guy from age 16-22. I broke his heart after 4yrs and we got back together for another 2 and then when I was ready to get married he broke my heart....I didn't even cry....I walked 2 miles home....he didn't even offer to drive me. Then a couple months later he begged and pleaded and sent flowers for months trying to get me to talk with him. I finally said Yes I would meet him to "talk" as long as the "talk" had nothing to do with a relationship between the two of us. He agreed and when we met the first thing he said was "I want you back" and he offered me the world on a silver platter. I wanted nothing to do with him or getting back with him and made him take me home. The harder he tried, the more of a beeatch I became. The only reason was because I had accepted it was over even before he ended it. I met my future H a year or so later and I think the only reason I married him was because he was so many things the old bf wasn't, and it was the right time of my life to be married. He was a good husband and father and still is a great guy. The marriage sucked however and I dealt with it in my own way. Anyways, if you wanna talk I'm here and I am not here to offend and I apologize if I have. Just trying to put my thoughts here for you after reading your many posts and I didn't have much time to think about choosing my words. Best of luck and hugs to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author digger Posted March 9, 2005 Author Share Posted March 9, 2005 thanks for the insight you know what really breaks my heart? i have a retarded son (by another marriage in another state) that worshipped the ground she walked on--and she treated him like her own from day #1, and now.... Link to post Share on other sites
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted March 10, 2005 Share Posted March 10, 2005 But you said she went there and spent time with him. She obviously still cares very much for him, and knows how much her visit would have meant to him. Yes, he will miss her, as I am sure he misses you. Even though your son is mentally challenged, do you think he understands what has happened? How long has he lived away from you (I can't remember if you said in your prior posts)? These things happen and we have no control over them. All we can control is our thoughts and our actions. Next time you think about her please try and turn your thoughts to YOU and your son, YOU and your daughter, YOU and something YOU have done in YOUR life, anything that didn't or doesn't include your ex wife. Make some new plans for your future. Link to post Share on other sites
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