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I want to move on


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I CANt WAIT FOR HIM TO MOVE OUT.

 

i HAVE A STRONG personality, my attitude stinks sometimes. I have short temper, I get worried easily.I don't believe in excuses.

We been together 10 years, married 2years.Until today he continues talking to his ex partner. he says he doesn't see anything wrong, she calls him and he call her atlas 4 times a day.. it hurts me. i spoke to him, but whatever i said to him he tells her. I even talk to her as well to show them both that im not jealous. i have her as friend of fb. she has her own life new husband. but i don't care about her. all i wanted was for my husband to understand me and stopped the calls, it never happened, If i have a bad day, she knows, if i have plans, she knows, if im gonna go somewhere she knows. He tells her everything as well as she does. they talk about they problems.This situation has rotten me in the inside. She even knew what he was going to cook for my bday before I knew.

 

 

We never go out as a couple, always with the kids.

never had a romantic dinner, I mean NEVER..after I had the twin girls. One vacation to see his parents to Puerto Rico 5 years ago, No gateways for us.However when his sister was ill he paid for a trip for her. When his mom and dad wants to travel he pays for it. When their family think my house is a summer gateway, he pays for plane tickets. While I work, is me the one who struggle with him when we can't come up with money to pay our bills. This mother day did it for me. he sent money to his mom n dad, send another $200 to his sister, sent money to his daughter from another marriage, He bought me a gift, which was returned by him 3 days after because he was short on the mortgage.BTW i had to work atleast 15 hours a day/overnight job when i bought this house because he lent 3k that he had saved to his sister and she never paid it back.

 

H e does not seem to care when im sad, but when is his family he visits,talks to therm, etc. We been arguing a lot in front of the kids to the point that he called me all theses names, bit.h , he even yells at me saying i have a ****ed family thats why not even your mother cares about you. Of course i don't shut up, i tell him all these bad things about his family and how dead I feel inside.how I regret being with him. Our relationship,if we ever had one, is toxic.I feel empty, We have no memories together, not as couple. I am 31 now and I just want to move on. He will move out in 2 weeks. We have twin girls, one of the kids is against me because she loves her dad and she sees no wrong, I told him not to talk to her about our problems. She gets mad at me. sHE IS MY CHILD and I love her ,but at the end if she want to go with her daddy ,I will understand it. He asked me to give him 2 weeks. I hope he really leaves in good terms. I want to feel alive, I don't feel energetic with him. My problem is our children, but it is not fair for them to hear us fighting. to hear him calling me a hoe, a nobody, calling names to each other. its been 1 year since I purchase the home, he ended up selling a car to give for the closing costs. He pays the mortgage, bills, but there is never extra for us because it goes to his family. I can't live like this.. They live off the system, they sleep until 10 am. Whatever I have is because I worked my behind off. I have no sympathy for people like that. I am too strict when it comes to leaving for free. I believe in being self dependent but because I am this way he believes I am made of stone. I am not, I have feelings, I see things and he never cared.I am so hurt by him.

This feeling of leaving him is not new. it is been 6 years feeling this way, but i was always scared.How I regret it now.

I would like to apologize if I offended anyone with my grammar. English is my second language.

Edited by nownthen
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