Breem Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I know not many people would want others to know the reason why they had to file for divorce. My case might not be the same with others, even with the main reason why, but I don't know. Somehow I feel like this could at least help me or even some of you out there. I'm not going to specifics, but the reason why I had filed for divorce was that I can see my husband breaking away with me. I have depression and even on the days when I'm alright, I can see toll on my husband. I have been dragging him down with me and I can't see him like that. I don't know if I have done the right thing (in terms of long term effect), but for now, this was my best solution and he's agreeing. So that's it. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 That sounds like a terrible situation, sorry you're hurting. I hope you had your divorce petition drawn up with advice from a legal professional, because if you wrote there what you've written here, I doubt it would be accepted by the judge. Link to post Share on other sites
Saf17 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm really sorry you're struggling and hurting. You're at the right place to start healing. Some people will discuss why it ended, some won't. Both ways are fine and don't ever be afraid of being honest. My wife left me Sunday just gone. The reasons behind why actually help me. I also have gone through a depressive stage. This might still be a normal part of life but I want you to get to a doctor or seek counselling if you haven't already. This is nothing to be ashamed of if you see it that way. Also, yes, make sure you have help with the way the divorce petition is written up. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I'm not going to specifics, but the reason why I had filed for divorce was that I can see my husband breaking away with me. I have depression and even on the days when I'm alright, I can see toll on my husband. I have been dragging him down with me and I can't see him like that. With all due respect, shouldn't that be his decision ??? I'd hope you're taking into account how your state of mind affects your decision making process. I'd also hope you're getting help, seems like the kind of decision that should be made with some guidance. Keep posting, let us know how you're doing... Mr. Lucky 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I know not many people would want others to know the reason why they had to file for divorce. My case might not be the same with others, even with the main reason why, but I don't know. Somehow I feel like this could at least help me or even some of you out there. I'm not going to specifics, but the reason why I had filed for divorce was that I can see my husband breaking away with me. I have depression and even on the days when I'm alright, I can see toll on my husband. I have been dragging him down with me and I can't see him like that. I don't know if I have done the right thing (in terms of long term effect), but for now, this was my best solution and he's agreeing. So that's it. It's a shame that you both have given up on one another. There are other ways of working together to learn how to cope with depression, the fallout of it and the affect it has on the spouse who at times has to stand up and be the caregiver... Counseling, support groups, on and offline. Do you love him? Does he love you? Marriage is not only about the good and happy times, it's about LIFE and many times life can be messy, painful and hard. Bailing out because it's too hard, or you're afraid or worried he's having trouble handling it is not a reason to run and end your marriage. Are you both 100% sure divorce is what you want? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HopeForTomorrow Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 I agree with the above 2 posts. You should not just give up just because it gets hard. Not unless you both really, truly want to divorce. That is what marriage is all about - being there for each other and having each others' backs. Not running away when it gets tough. At the very least, I would make sure this is truly what he wants. I wish you peace. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jhoanna11 Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 (edited) Hey Breem. I think you are very strong and I don't believe many people would do the same. Edited February 11, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
Author Breem Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Thanks to everyone here for the support and the advice. As I have said, there are no specifics here. This was just the main cause. However the resulting decisions, actions and consequences following the reason has been written on the petition with the help of lawyer. It was a long thought on my part and his. We talked to our families, we talked to each other and we asked legal advice. We love each other, I know we did. And because of that love that we decided to let go of each other. Our relationship has been going downhill for a long time and we both know it won't be going anywhere but down if we continued living together. And please don't get me wrong, we tried to fix everything. We got counseling, we took time for ourselves, we traveled together. I'm also getting my therapies. But none of those, in the end, could fix our relationship. But I do hope, we could at least fix ourselves. Link to post Share on other sites
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