paintlove Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Hello All, Im reaching out in the hopes i can get some advice and different perspectives. Been together 8 years married 1, both 30. He wanted out of the marriage because I wasn't my best self, couldn't look support myself financially and he wanted to date and play the field. He didnt want to work on it. I had to live with him while i looked for my own apartment, i move out this week. Ive been working on myself mentally and physically and can see where we went wrong. He says we broke up for unusual reasons. In that we had a happy relationship, no conflicts or anything. I can see we became to codependent on each other so we didn't continue to grow as individuals. I found out about a month in to our separation he has been sleeping with others and but never managed to finish with them. It broke me but then I was starting to see that this was another area i was neglecting in out relationship and put it to one side as experience for my next relationship. Obviously with also the small hope that maybe one day way in the future we would cross paths and maybe start something mew. He accidentally saw me on a date and after confessed he felt lonely and we had a little hug. I didn't feel lonely and was trying to enjoy single life. I was starting to get in to a better place and started talking to guys on tinder. It dawned on me how much i love my STBX. But i was going to stay strong and play the field regardless as he didn't want me and wated to be single. However the lust and need for intimacy got the better of me and we ended up sleeping together and have been every day for about 4 days. I wanted no strings as sex and thats one area we are super good at. Yesterday I asked if one day he would consider us again and he said no. That he didnt want to hurt me any more than he has. And that its possible that we would just break up again. I took it in my stride and reminded myself that i just wanted sex right now. But then realised that my emotions maybe getting a little mixed up which is not surprising. This morning i found out that he went on a date last night. it seems he may have left his date early as i sent him a naughty message. However this has taken me a few steps back and i know im being stupid by sleeping with him in the first place. I know i should stop. But also i dont want to. My heart wants to "date" him and I know that we are good match but i also know there are others out there. I feel like this is more of a rant than anything and any perspectives would be great. There are also a lot of holes in this tale. Thanks for those who make it this far Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 This morning i found out that he went on a date last night. it seems he may have left his date early as i sent him a naughty message. However this has taken me a few steps back and i know im being stupid by sleeping with him in the first place. I know i should stop. But also i dont want to. My heart wants to "date" him and I know that we are good match but i also know there are others out there. I feel like this is more of a rant than anything and any perspectives would be great. There are also a lot of holes in this tale. Thanks for those who make it this far There's nothing unusual about sleeping with him, sex with the ex is pretty common. But you have to be realistic about what's going on as there's no commitment involved. If you're looking to recreate the trappings of your marriage - not going to happen, he's just someone you used to know. Of all the possible outcomes, you getting hurt seems the most likely. If moving ahead with your life is a priority, I'd look to others for companionship of all kinds ... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 I think he is pretty selfish really, just looks like he wanted out so he could play the field. What you have to realize is that it is not easy to go to the extreme of breaking up in order to go play the field, it takes a heavy emotional toll on him,,,(and you) so why would he risk having to go through that again by getting back with you? You are better off without him in your life i think. Link to post Share on other sites
Grumpybutfun Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 You will never heal and move on from breakup as long as you are his booty call. Time to really move on and go NC. G 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Keep dating others and don't sit at home stewing. Enjoy the singe life..... don't be calling your Ex and continue working on you for your next relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
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