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Does Reconcilation Ever Happen Post Divorce?


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Just curious because on the forum you see so many people dealing with the pain that a divorce brings on them. I don't recall hearing any stories of people getting back together after the divorce has been finalized.

 

In my case I still leave reconciliation on the table, but at times its hard to see it happening with the 3.5 hours between us and the fact we had no children to tie us together.

 

Anyone know of any cases and if so, how long did it normally take?

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There actually is/was a couple on LS that got back together years after their divorce.

 

Getting back together is probably rather hard because of, well, life happening. Even if person A would be completely celibate for a decade or longer, if person B has met and fallen in love with another person, they won't waste another thought on the ex. Others simply cherish the more relaxing aspects of single life after having been "tied down" for a long time and focus on other things than relationships. The moment attraction is gone though, it's ultimately game over.

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Depends on the couple.... get a couple with dramatic personalities prone to impulsive decisions and they can blow up, divorce, then fall in love all over again and remarry.

 

, of course fiction, but by a couple who did it in real life.
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I recently read of the issue of how the individuals change over time post divorce, and I was really able to relate to this particular article.

 

I was married 26 years, this past June 15, would have been our 30th anniversary. Even though, it seems all I wanted ever was my marriage back, I don't think there is any going back to that type of lifestyle for me now. I've changed, tremendously. More than I realized.

 

I am myself again. A night-owl. A researcher, an artist, an activist. I make what I like to eat, when I want to. I have my art, decorating the whole house -- it is somewhat challenging art - large post-modern electronic alter-pieces, (that convey the contrast between good vs evil) that reach the ceiling of the front rooms. The front of the house lights up like a Halloween Castle. The home has ME written all over it. I am colorful, creative, alive.

 

During marriage, one has to compromise. And my art production is over the top to say the least. But to make matters worse, my spouse did not respect my work, and thought it should be taken to the trash. Although, my work is in fine collections and has been shown widely.

 

I never minded to put my things in an upstairs room, to have a somewhat normal living space out of respect for the marriage.

 

But, there is no going back now. I am not willing (now able) to "un-define" my newly defined self. Which, frankly, I think would give him a massive heart failure if he had any idea how I've changed the place up. It is a wonderful place - everyone that comes to my world loves it. But, he would absolutely DIE.

 

It is not just decor, it is lifestyle, I like music, my insense, my gaudy seasonal decorations (that he despised). I don't feel like taking orders for what he wants for dinner over the phone, and slamming together gormet meals every night with fresh home-made bread. Forget that - that made me get fat. I like lean Cuisine. Cheap, no dishes to clean, and low calorie. Done.

 

I do the laundry only once a month. Not every dang day anymore for Mr. Picky Prima Donna (one load for white socks, one load for dark socks, one load for white work-out t-shirts, one load for fun t-shirts, one load for work pants, one load for work shirts, one load "with extra bleach" for nasty skid-marked under-wears, one load for this, one load for that. For God' sake - then special drying requirements. (I used to mix a few dirty socks in with the dress shirts just to be mean, once in while).

 

I have enough stuff, and towels to last me more than a month - why do laundry? Who cares? I am out of the Prima Donna Laundry Business.

 

This is what happens. Life changes - and I'm not at all in the mood to be eager to please any longer - never will be again. That is the hard, cold, reality.

 

Oh, dear. What has happened. I guess I'm only all about me now! I know for a fact, I cant go back.

 

And vanilla decor is not gonna work for me. I want to be around my art.

 

It is too late now. I turned back into myself again.

 

Maybe this gives some perspective. I sort of get it now. Yas

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ChicagoSparty

Of course.

 

And people also win the lottery, get hit by lightning, hit a hole-in-one and get attacked by sharks.

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Of course.

 

And people also win the lottery, get hit by lightning, hit a hole-in-one and get attacked by sharks.

 

Agreed. One thing that makes divorce/reconciliation stores so memorable is their rarity. Couples typically split for pretty good reasons and tend to land solid body blows on the way out the door...

 

Mr. Lucky

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