MixedUpChick Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I'm curious what others would do in this situation. My ex & I had an "amicable" divorce 5 yrs ago - but I really don't want to see him or talk to him because he was so checked out of our marriage for so long, didn't take an interest in me or the kids, & any time I see him in public situations, suddenly now he's interested in my life & wants to chat. I feel like it's too little, far too late. I went to my brother's housewarming party today, when I got there, my ex had tagged along with my daughter (he lives in another state now but is apparently staying with her for a couple days while he's in town, he's marrying someone from another state next weekend & she's coming here for their wedding). I was totally caught off guard to see him there, when I asked my daughter why he was there, she said he had asked if he could go & she didn't know what to say, & didn't feel right about just leaving him all alone when she & her boyfriend left. She also told me that he told her he wants us to be friends Today I was sitting down for a minute & he walked over & asked how I am, I said "fine" and walked out of the room. I wanted to ask him WTF he was doing there since he's never been particularly close to my family... Anyway, just curious to hear what others would have done/said in a similar situation. Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 (edited) I wouldn't like that at all. Especially taken off guard. Draw boundaries where your comfort levels are, then kindly let everyone (including your daughter) comprehend this rule of thumb. You are establishing a new life now - and is includes this man as little as possible. He is getting married and will have new in-laws now. His choice, now he gets to experience this choice. Are you gonna show up at family events with your daughter to be "friendly?" NOT. He is just feeling nostalgic and unsure about the leap he's about to take, and wants to hang around the familiar, (where he's comfortable), that's all. It is high maintenance starting out with a whole new family dynamic and playing all nice-nice. Yuck. Only think of your own needs, period. Yas PS. Whatta ya think the new wifey would say about this? Friends. Sounds like a TV show. Pathetic. Edited June 21, 2015 by Yasuandio Added PS 1 Link to post Share on other sites
I Just Wanna b Happy Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 The divorce was 5 years ago. Give the guy a break. Maybe he just wanted to see you. You were his wife/lover/best friend at one point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MixedUpChick Posted June 21, 2015 Author Share Posted June 21, 2015 The divorce was 5 years ago. Give the guy a break. Maybe he just wanted to see you. You were his wife/lover/best friend at one point. I saw him 2 years ago at our son's wedding, we haven't spoken or had any contact since then. I feel that if he wants to establish some sort of "friend" relationship, he could have picked up the phone or even sent an email, instead of crashing a family event. Link to post Share on other sites
I Just Wanna b Happy Posted June 21, 2015 Share Posted June 21, 2015 I saw him 2 years ago at our son's wedding, we haven't spoken or had any contact since then. I feel that if he wants to establish some sort of "friend" relationship, he could have picked up the phone or even sent an email, instead of crashing a family event. Yea, you do have a point. Maybe he is still in love with you? That will make a person do "odd" things.. Link to post Share on other sites
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