bamawsp Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Today I filed and was granted an Order of Protection removing my STBXW from the marital property and preventing her from contacting me or my children. I wept when it was granted. For the first time in months, my children and I have peace. 16 Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Good for you Bama. Hope you will finally have some peace and normalcy until the D is finalized. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 At least your lives are stable now. Your wife can drink and smoke pot without bringing her kids in jeopardy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Bama Way to go!!!! I've been cheering for you the whole time . Nothing wrong with weeping . But the tears will turn to joy once the reality sets in that the monster your WW has become is out of your life . Leave her to the pothead guy she is banging and enjoy the peace and tranquility with you family. It's refreshing to see the "good guys"'win for a change . 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 This must have been tough, but you and the children will hopefully be safe. I just hope that your wife gets the help she needs to become a responsible mother. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Good for you! Now,she'll have to fight the OOP and the divorce case. Probably going to dig her heals in,or she'll try sweet talking you,break it off with OM(for now), and promise to bestest wifey ever. Her parents may even try to get you to drop the OOP and re-consider divorce. Hold your ground. You have the upper hand. All you have to do is see it through. Gather any photos of you and the kids together. Document your time with them. If the opposing counsel tries to make you out to be an absent dad,you'll have these things to present as evidence to the contrary. And, BY ALL MEANS, do not contact her or be around her. I've known OOP's to be dismissed because the spouse decided to "talk" to the other. If you need an OOP,you shouldn't be talking to the other spouse except about the welfare of the kids,and that should be via email. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 DivorcedDad123 id stating critical points. No contact. Bravo for you! I know it was hard, but was in best interest of the family unit you are in charge of at this point. There will be no confusion. You might want to let the school know what is going on, and provide a copy of the Order to them. Other posters, please weigh in on that idea, as I don't have kids. Yas 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Is your wife no longer suicidal? Link to post Share on other sites
Author bamawsp Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 Is your wife no longer suicidal? Elaine, not that I know of. She was escorted off the premises yesterday late afternoon. She had not had a public display of suicidal thoughts since Saturday morning. Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Like Yas says, if the kids are included in the OOP, the school needs to get a copy. Don't want her and her bf going to check them out,which they could legally do without the OOP. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bamawsp Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 In a faint flicker of positivity, my STBXW made phone calls to her health insurance provider, a local psychiatrist, a church AND a substance abuse/psych hospital this morning. My prayer is that she FINALLY seeks the help she has needed for years and becomes the beautiful mother she once was......... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 If/when that time comes (it'll be at least a year, maybe more) face it then. Right now she is acting out of desperation so who knows if this is a knee jerk reaction or if she truly is going to follow through and get help. She has to earn your trust back as pertaining to the kids and show she is ready to be a mom and fore go her previous lifestyle and choices. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I'd very much like to hear of a health insurance that willingly takes up patients addicted to alcohol - rank #2 on the list of cancer-causes right behind tobacco. I'd also remain on your guard. She might as well go to church to "have all her sins forgiven" by simply uttering a few prayers in her mind. Depending on where you live this might also give her some of the "ol' faithful" wife appearance back to show off. As long as OM is in the picture she remains "the enemy". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bamawsp Posted April 9, 2015 Author Share Posted April 9, 2015 In a stunning turn of events I received a full price offer on my home after 48 hours on the market....What a blessing. 10 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 In a stunning turn of events I received a full price offer on my home after 48 hours on the market....What a blessing. Congratulations! Looks like 'the universe' is helping you out after all this drama. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 Congratulations Bama! You deserve it after what she has put you through! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bamawsp Posted April 12, 2015 Author Share Posted April 12, 2015 The Order of Protection has been amazing for the sanity of myself and my children. There is ZERO stress. I mean zilch. I know they miss their mother but all in all they are okay. Their first counseling session is this week. My 12 year old is resistant. Even if she sits their silent she will be there. My STBXW refuses to sign the contract on the full price offer we received on our home. She has yet to retain a lawyer as far as I know and the 30 day deadline is Friday. My children and I are protected from the lunacy for at least the next 2 weeks...... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Yasuandio Posted April 12, 2015 Share Posted April 12, 2015 Drag her straight into Court the day after she has not signed, and bring the home sale to the Judge's attention with other evidence (if your attorney agrees). I have a feeling she can stop the sale. But after it is all said and done, should there be loss in a future sale (and/or the extra costs to maintain this place whilst awaiting another sale - that was obviously an inevitable conclusion), the negative factor of such could end up deducted from her column since she obstructed a perfectly good sale. I'd ask your attorney if that can be pointed out to her. Don't you say a word. Bravo for you on the progress. Yas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bamawsp Posted April 14, 2015 Author Share Posted April 14, 2015 Tomorrow will be one week since the Order of Protection was served. MY STBXW has made zero efforts to see her children. ZERO. My attorney even reached out to hers this past Friday and he hasn't returned the call. My gut is telling me she is enjoying this freedom from responsibility. On the flipside, my children are doing great. There is peace in the home and our routine is rock solid. They have their first counseling session on Thursday morning. I'm adjusting accordingly. It's been rather stressful but at the end of the day I know my kids are okay. It just disappoints me she isn't fighting for them because I know they love her........... 9 Link to post Share on other sites
I_Give_Up67 Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 It sounds like she may have been worse off than you even suspected. Getting that Order Of Protection seems even more justified looking at how she is behaving towards her own children now. Glad to hear that you and the children are now seeing some peace and stability for now at least. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 Tomorrow will be one week since the Order of Protection was served. MY STBXW has made zero efforts to see her children. ZERO. My attorney even reached out to hers this past Friday and he hasn't returned the call. My gut is telling me she is enjoying this freedom from responsibility. On the flipside, my children are doing great. There is peace in the home and our routine is rock solid. They have their first counseling session on Thursday morning. I'm adjusting accordingly. It's been rather stressful but at the end of the day I know my kids are okay. It just disappoints me she isn't fighting for them because I know they love her........... A mom who leaves behind her kids is messed up. One day she will regret this and wish she had been there and made an effort. As time goes on (whether it be months or years) your kids will eventually accept (sadly) how things are and resent her. They will always love their mom but won't "like" her as a person. With that said your ex/their mom will have to jump through hoops and prove herself to them, make it up to them IF she ever wants to have a connection and a relationship with them in the future. Reaffirm that their mom does love them but right now "mom" isn't capable of being there for them as she is not well. No need to make it worse and say mom doesn't care, she's selfish..etc.. Later in life that truth will come out and they can deal with all that then. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Friskyone4u Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Hang tough Bama . No mercy . Get your lawyer to go after her the minute you can . Now this monster is trying to hurt her children by ruining the sale of the house to spite you for not putting up with her crap any more. She is worthless and deserves the loser she is banging . She'll wind up without a pot to pee in and her children will someday realize what a horrible person she has become. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Later in life that truth will come out and they can deal with all that then. This. Chances are by the time they're in college they don't want to hear from her ever again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Yes she is definitely enjoying being a single woman. Let her enjoy herself, you have your children by your side, thank God. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author bamawsp Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 This is the 8th Day of since she was served with The Order of Protection. Tomorrow will be Day 30 since she was served with Divorce papers. My children had their first counseling session today. They participated together and the therapist said they weren't very talkative during the session. This due to big sister(who will soon be 13) who was very happy to be there in the first place. The next session will be individual. I expect the younger 2 to open up. There have been ZERO efforts either through her surrogates or counsel to see the children. She fired her first attorney. He attempted to cash a $1000 check she had written this past Monday for legal services rendered but funds weren't available(Fist Bump). Word is he will be pursuing her in a legal matter for services rendered. At the end of the day, all is pretty good in the house. The schools have been very supportive and my personal support system hasn't waivered. Things could most definitely be worse. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
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