NoC Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 Hi everyone, Just a little back story, I left my stbxw about 6.5 months ago because she lacked respect for me and was the biggest emotional bully to ever walk this Earth. Almost the entire duration of our marriage was horrible for me, we have no kids together fortunately. She was the best GF to me while we were together, but as soon as we got married she immediately fell into that "I have locked hi down now" attitude and quit putting any effort into the marriage. Anyway this brings me to now. I have been in beautiful North Carolina the entire time of our seperation (see sig) and I heard through the grapevine that she "has changed" and may want to get back together. I want no part of it at all, even if she has changed (which I don't believe) i'm happy for her but the thought of even being her friend is revolting to say the least. I honestly don't want to deal with her coming to me and begging me back, I would much rather we continue with the divorce (we are waiting for seperation period). I am thinking of getting a girlfriend so that she will get the message, if she truly is thinking of coming back to me. Up to this day I have not slept with anyone out of respect for my faith since we are technically not divorced yet. How I wish the state was not so heavily involved in my personal matters! Link to post Share on other sites
TashaTudor Posted February 1, 2015 Share Posted February 1, 2015 I commend you for still respecting you marriage by not having a rebound relationship. Be very clear with her and let her know that you aren't interested in reconciling. Let the grapevine also know...that might help also. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 I am thinking of getting a girlfriend so that she will get the message, if she truly is thinking of coming back to me. Up to this day I have not slept with anyone out of respect for my faith since we are technically not divorced yet. How I wish the state was not so heavily involved in my personal matters! If you're doing - or planning on doing - things with the intention of having an effect on her then you're still giving her power and influence over your life. Live in the manner that supports your goals, mental health and progress forward. Sleep with everyone or no one based on what works for you. Disconnect from the grapevine, time to look ahead... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted February 2, 2015 Share Posted February 2, 2015 Definitely don't date just to send a message to her - that's involving a third person in something when they don't really deserve it. But I agree about letting the grapevine know you're not interested. Maybe you could say you're dating someone even if you don't actually do it. And you're right, North Carolina is fantastic! Link to post Share on other sites
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