compulsivedancer Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I took my rings off at the end of October, but I still have two clear indents. I wore both rings for 8 years, and the engagement ring for 9. I was also thinner when we got married, so the engagement ring was fairly tight. The Internet says they could last up to a year. What was your experience? Link to post Share on other sites
justaplottwist Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 I had the same question when I first took them off. It's been about 10 months for me and I have a slight indention...not as noticeable.....but it was interesting how long it has taken to get to almost "normal" again. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 29, 2015 Share Posted January 29, 2015 Try rubbing some oil into the area twice a day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 Did that make it go away faster? Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted January 30, 2015 Share Posted January 30, 2015 Did that make it go away faster? Yes, it does help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted January 30, 2015 Author Share Posted January 30, 2015 I get it! I'm not allowed to date until the scars heal...literally! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
trippi1432 Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 It takes a while, the finger feels as naked as the soul. I wore an engagement ring for 12 years, a wedding band for 3, and it's taken five years for my hand to feel lighter. Making penance for what is really yours (and not self-loathing) helps to speed you through. Making penance for someone else....makes the healing a lot harder. (I say that for either side, man/woman, cheater/left behind) the only real thing you have is you, unless you are running from it....and that can go both ways too. Link to post Share on other sites
UnbreakMyHeart Posted January 31, 2015 Share Posted January 31, 2015 16 months down the line and mine has all but disappeared 16 months down the line we are talking about taking very tiny smaller than baby steps steps towards reconciliation which is why I am back here reading every experience and piece of information I can find I am sure Alianis Morissette could have fitted it in to her ironic song that isn't very ironic after all Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted February 1, 2015 Author Share Posted February 1, 2015 16 months down the line and mine has all but disappeared 16 months down the line we are talking about taking very tiny smaller than baby steps steps towards reconciliation which is why I am back here reading every experience and piece of information I can find I am sure Alianis Morissette could have fitted it in to her ironic song that isn't very ironic after all Holy crap that is a long time! I hope I don't have to wait that long! Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 Still there 11 months out. Not as prominent, but I still have three lines. You do have to look closely for the third line, though, so I guess that's progress. Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 How about buying a wide, obviously-not-wedding/engagement ring for that finger which will push down on and hide those lines? Something fun and something YOU, to show your commitment to being your best self on your own? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted October 1, 2015 Author Share Posted October 1, 2015 How about buying a wide, obviously-not-wedding/engagement ring for that finger which will push down on and hide those lines? Something fun and something YOU, to show your commitment to being your best self on your own? Nah, I want the lines to go away! Wearing something else would just prolong them. I don't think anyone but me notices or cares. Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 I'm at 3 1/2 years and all traces have been gone for quite some time. It's actually quite surreal for me. Always liked that ring. Then it had to go. At least I got a few bucks for it. Never got anything for that damn three-piece sectional. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MJJean Posted October 2, 2015 Share Posted October 2, 2015 Nah, I want the lines to go away! Wearing something else would just prolong them. I don't think anyone but me notices or cares. I suggest you get a few rings with different type bands and wear them on a rotational basis while the old indent fills in. Take them off for the night and massage the indent with oil or lotion just before you go to bed. The rings will cover the indent so you're not reminded when you look at it and make your hand feel less naked. Rotating band types, sleeping with no rings on, and the massage with oil should help the indent disappear. Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted October 3, 2015 Author Share Posted October 3, 2015 Yeah, I need to sell my wedding dress, but I feel the same way about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bito Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 How very symbolic of the emotional wound... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 The Internet says they could last up to a year. What was your experience? I guess that's possible; I took my band off when my exW filed for divorce and, being pretty white, any 'tan line' and indentation were gone in a couple months, like they'd never been there. I had worn the band continuously for over 9 years. I never took it off, not even in the shop. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 Yeah, I need to sell my wedding dress, but I feel the same way about it. For me, selling it probably helped me to detach. It was a part of acceptance, I suppose. Keeping the ring would have kept me attached in some way. I also needed grocery money, which is about all it afforded me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 For me, selling it probably helped me to detach. It was a part of acceptance, I suppose. Keeping the ring would have kept me attached in some way. I also needed grocery money, which is about all it afforded me. I'm hoping my dress will be worth something. It's real silk, handmade, Renaissance style, and it doesn't look like a wedding dress. I think the festival crowd might give me a couple hundred for it. The rings aren't worth anything, but it hasn't occurred to me to get rid of them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BetrayedH Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 I'm hoping my dress will be worth something. It's real silk, handmade, Renaissance style, and it doesn't look like a wedding dress. I think the festival crowd might give me a couple hundred for it. The rings aren't worth anything, but it hasn't occurred to me to get rid of them. I thought my ring would be worth something. It had 11 stones. But they were technically smaller than they deal with. So I just got the ring's weight in gold value. I think it was about $200. It's good that it's gone. Sounds like you should probably do the same with that dress. I'm a sentimental guy and I think the sentiment was unhealthy. But perhaps your situation is different. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 My ex and I still get along pretty well, but my boyfriend and I are talking about moving in together in a couple months. I don't really want to have my wedding dress hanging in my closet at that point! I probably ought to get rid of the rings, but they aren't worth anything, and I'm not quite ready on the engagement ring. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ralfgarnett Posted October 5, 2015 Share Posted October 5, 2015 Still wearing my wedding ring, tried taking it off a few times but after over 18 years I just find it very difficult to do so, it reminds me of the happiest day and years of my life, I just cant take it off as yet. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostdreams Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 How about buying a wide, obviously-not-wedding/engagement ring for that finger which will push down on and hide those lines? Something fun and something YOU, to show your commitment to being your best self on your own? Yes I agree with this and that's what I did - I bought myself a thick silver ring which swirls around the finger and up towards the knuckle i.e. it's obviously not a wedding ring. I like it and it was not expensive. My third finger right hand is all mine now Link to post Share on other sites
daisygirl19 Posted November 5, 2015 Share Posted November 5, 2015 Mine took about 9-12 months to go away. I remember trying to will it away for months. I hated it and the way my hand felt so light, even though I am the one that initiated and wanted the divorce. It gradually got better and one day, I woke up and realized it was gone. I felt no emotion whatsoever by that point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author compulsivedancer Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 1 year, 4.5 months, faint, but still there...this is an interesting, if frustrating experiment. I should be officially divorced in a couple weeks. Link to post Share on other sites
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