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what do i do so broken


NOHOPE-LEFT-HERE

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NOHOPE-LEFT-HERE

just feel broken and lost

 

married 11 years,together for 15 have 2 kids

she ended our marriage 10 months ago,says she is very unhappy,dont love me anymore,our marriage was like friends, many mistakes from me,no cheating or any violence ever, have tried everything to make it work and to talk but she simply refuses to listen,says not interested,i want to be on my own

 

she has been alone since the split,for the first six months there was contact,lots of it,from both sides,was things in general,even sometime she would talk about why we split and everything,even go see her about things,then when i said anything about trying again....just get shot down everytime

 

i still want her she is my soulmate,and just believe we have spent to many years together to just give up,have told her she means everything to me and will do what ever it takes to make us work.....complete change a fresh page to try again

 

this just seems to make her so angry so cold,she has said things to me that i never thought i would ever hear,its like she is someone i dont know

 

i have not seen her in person at all in the last 3 months,after i sent a letter saying how much she means to me,sorry for all my mistakes and for all the pain i caused her making her unhappy for the things i didn't do etc,told her that everything would change from me,spoke from the heart and in great detail and meant every word

 

her reply by a text was not interested what you want,dont want to talk to you,dont want to see you,you can see the kids whenever you like but not here

since we split i have never been angry with her,never said anything to upset her,just dont know why she has to be so horrid to me everytime

 

was my birthday a few weeks ago.....didnt even get a message saying happy birthday,its like we never happened

 

she is so cold,so angry all the time,even if i msg her about the kids, in all the time since we split there hasn't been much time with no contact....i think 3 weeks at most......maybe that's whats caused it to get so bad..just dont know anymore,and just dont what to do..

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Looks like you may have to accept that the M is truly over.

 

No matter what you need to see your kids. How often do you have them? How old are they?

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she says i can see them christmas day in the evening as they are going to be with her

 

Then start planning! Wrap gifts, plan the meal and make some pies.

 

Find joy in what you do have.

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NOHOPE-LEFT-HERE

they kids are all i have left,and would do anything for them,its not nice that they see how she is with me.

 

not had any contact with the wife by any means for nearly a week,maybe some major time left alone may change things,i guess only time will tell

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NOHOPE-LEFT-HERE

would like your views on .....do you feel that having no contact will give her time to think about everything? or you feel nothing will change?

 

im not thinking that no contact will bring her back with arms open,just might give her time to reflect on everything,and maybe something will change

 

still really dont know why she has got more angry more cold and hurtfull the longer we have been apart,seems a common thing to happen reading the posts on here though

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would like your views on .....do you feel that having no contact will give her time to think about everything? or you feel nothing will change?

 

im not thinking that no contact will bring her back with arms open,just might give her time to reflect on everything,and maybe something will change

 

still really don't know why she has got more angry more cold and hurtfull the longer we have been apart,seems a common thing to happen reading the posts on here though

 

You need to adapt to the current reality.

 

You say she is your soul mate, but she doesn't want to be.

 

Begging and pleading with her will make her lose all respect for you, and most likely make her even more angry.

 

Be a man, get up off your knees, and live your life with some self-respect and dignity.

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Get on with your own life....accept that your marriage is over and move forward without her. Dont hold hope for your marriage.

 

Once she sees that she make think differently...but then it will be too late for her...because u will be in a place were u wont wont her back.....

 

Stop picking the scab and let it heal.....

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You need to adapt to the current reality.

 

You say she is your soul mate, but she doesn't want to be.

 

Begging and pleading with her will make her lose all respect for you, and most likely make her even more angry.

 

Be a man, get up off your knees, and live your life with some self-respect and dignity.

 

 

easier said than done.

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just feel broken and lost

 

married 11 years,together for 15 have 2 kids

she ended our marriage 10 months ago,says she is very unhappy,dont love me anymore,our marriage was like friends, many mistakes from me,no cheating or any violence ever, have tried everything to make it work and to talk but she simply refuses to listen,says not interested,i want to be on my own

 

she has been alone since the split,for the first six months there was contact,lots of it,from both sides,was things in general,even sometime she would talk about why we split and everything,even go see her about things,then when i said anything about trying again....just get shot down everytime

 

i still want her she is my soulmate,and just believe we have spent to many years together to just give up,have told her she means everything to me and will do what ever it takes to make us work.....complete change a fresh page to try again

 

this just seems to make her so angry so cold,she has said things to me that i never thought i would ever hear,its like she is someone i dont know

 

i have not seen her in person at all in the last 3 months,after i sent a letter saying how much she means to me,sorry for all my mistakes and for all the pain i caused her making her unhappy for the things i didn't do etc,told her that everything would change from me,spoke from the heart and in great detail and meant every word

 

her reply by a text was not interested what you want,dont want to talk to you,dont want to see you,you can see the kids whenever you like but not here

since we split i have never been angry with her,never said anything to upset her,just dont know why she has to be so horrid to me everytime

 

was my birthday a few weeks ago.....didnt even get a message saying happy birthday,its like we never happened

 

she is so cold,so angry all the time,even if i msg her about the kids, in all the time since we split there hasn't been much time with no contact....i think 3 weeks at most......maybe that's whats caused it to get so bad..just dont know anymore,and just dont what to do..

 

 

I understand a lot of what your saying as I can see some of this in my w/s I feel for you mate it was my birthday too a couple of weeks ago I got some presents and cards but no contact, we are in shock as we didn't see this coming did we ?, so there is nothing we can do but that doesn't make it any easier, accept that your in shock and most things she will say or do will be in the negative, with regards the angry responses have you stopped to think for a while that she might just be angry with herself and her guilt for what she has done to you and your family ?, dumpers often act totally out of character and they do it as an act the act is to justify there actions to both them and to us, good luck mate I am here for you if you want to keep talking to me.

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It's not easy. It's hard, but the only other alternative is to give up.

 

 

Giving up and fading away sounds good to me how do I do that you would be doing me a favour

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NOHOPE-LEFT-HERE

i think if any of us myself included thought about giving up, this site would be very quiet.

its true you cant make someone love you,you cant bring them back,if only it was that easy.

ralf thanks same to you my friend good luck

 

just feel so shocked that someone that i spent all those years with,trusted,loved and respected every day,could change so much to someone that seems to hate anything about me,and what we once had

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