it's all so complicated

[heartbroken89]

Alright, so where do I start.

My husband and I had a really rough relationship from the beginning on.

He had a very troubled childhood and never really opened up to me.

We still got married even though our sex life broke entirely down after just a year of dating.

But I love him and wanted to make it work.

Every time around thanksgiving/christmas he kicked me out, broke up with me.

But I still wanted to make it work.

 

We are married 1.5 years, just having this last June a beautiful ceremony with our families.

Two months after the wedding I found out he was sexting several women but did forgive him bc again I love him and I wanted to make this work.

Now only 5 Month after the wedding we got into a horrible fight (yes, I literally attacked him!)which resulted in him contacting a lawyer to divorce me.

There is no excuse for me attacking my husband (I threw something after him) but I'm just so frustrated and hurt by the constant rejection and exploded.

After this he told me several times how much he hates me and he is going to divorce me. He didn't mean his vows and he doesn't love me anymore.

I got home from work last night and he left me a note that he left to his family.

I talked to his Dad and he told me that my husband is set on the divorce.

I'm so heart broken and I just don't know what to do with myself now. I can see how tricky our situation is but I'm very religious and pray to God every day to bring my husband back and let us reconcile. I don't want to doubt God but I hate even thinking about divorce. I meant all my vows! I really do!

And even though I want to stay faith full every day I get more and more news that he is done.

I keep having this picture in my mind that he returns home presenting me the divorce papers. I'm so desperate. I don't know how to go on anymore. I"m sitting alone in our apartment bc I have nobody in this country.

HELP! What do I do?

[Mr. Lucky]

He had a very troubled childhood and never really opened up to me....We still got married even though our sex life broke entirely down after just a year of dating....Every time around thanksgiving/christmas he kicked me out, broke up with me...I found out he was sexting several women....After this he told me several times how much he hates me and he is going to divorce me. He didn't mean his vows and he doesn't love me anymore.

 

Read what you wrote above.

 

I understand you don't want to be alone in a foreign country. But why be with him? His feelings and intentions seem pretty clear. At this point, it's less about what you want and more about what you need to do...

 

Mr. Lucky