GarrusVakarian Posted September 29, 2014 Share Posted September 29, 2014 Last week I filed divorce papers. Also instructed my solicitor to draft a clean break order. I believe its only fair that she pays half these costs as she was the one who had an affair with a 20 year older than her married man. I was told it may be best to contact my soon to be ex and discuss it with her with regards to paying her half. The clean break order will require her to sign it to confirm she agrees with it and its for both of our financial protection. She eventually emailed back days later being really nice, but saying I need to speak to my solicitor before I can agree to anything. The marriage is dead and buried as far as I am concerned. You'd think she would agree just to get it all done and dusted and she can continue with affair partner who she is still seeing. Is she just trying to be difficult and drag it all out?. When we was agreeing over me buying her out of the house. We was communicating via email and she was making me wait 2-3 weeks for a reply on whether she agreed on terms, which seriously delayed getting my re-mortgage done. Since last week I have heard nothing back from her. But the divorce papers are en-route to her in the next few weeks so she will have to reply sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
caplion Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 She's probably pretty confused - she's got no where to go if this other guy is still married so she probably has little motivation to divorce you...so she's in no rush - she can still see the other guy and be married to you (to whatever benefit that is for her - even if it's just not having to pay for legal services right now). You know her better than us (I hope so anyway ) - was she pretty lethargic on paying bills and getting things done in general? If so there's your answer also. I don't know about England - but I assume the legal system is slow and non-responsive too - so you might just have to wait. Best wishes. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 She's not dragging her feet. During an emotional time in her life she is doing the smart thing by having her solicitor look at the documents. At this point it's business not personal (to some extent because divorce is always personal but ...) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted September 30, 2014 Share Posted September 30, 2014 Her brain is shut down. And she won't hurry to get into any direction; neither to get back to her family, nor to her MM. She's stuck on a spot and messes up even bigger with her futile attempts to get somewhere. Anywhere. Don't let it provoke you though, there's no need for it. She's probably either high or drunk most of her life these days, she just isn't in it anymore. And with "it" I mean her life for what it truly is. Be quick about the parts of the divorce that you can handle from your side, and use the breaks her laziness offers you to relax. A divorce is a step by step process, and the mule/your ex can be stubborn all she likes, that cart is rolling down the hill with her on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GarrusVakarian Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 She's probably pretty confused - she's got no where to go if this other guy is still married so she probably has little motivation to divorce you...so she's in no rush - she can still see the other guy and be married to you (to whatever benefit that is for her - even if it's just not having to pay for legal services right now). You know her better than us (I hope so anyway ) - was she pretty lethargic on paying bills and getting things done in general? If so there's your answer also. I don't know about England - but I assume the legal system is slow and non-responsive too - so you might just have to wait. Best wishes. Didn't mention, I discovered her affair last year. She abandoned the marital home when I found out and run off to her parents. Been there ever since. Wouldn't talk to me about anything and just pretended it didn't happen while she continued affair. Lying to everyone over it all, including parents, friends and family. She always paid her share of bills and mortgage. But she was bought out of house and its all in my name now. We are totally separate financially, just that marriage certificate between us now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author GarrusVakarian Posted October 1, 2014 Author Share Posted October 1, 2014 Her brain is shut down. And she won't hurry to get into any direction; neither to get back to her family, nor to her MM. She's stuck on a spot and messes up even bigger with her futile attempts to get somewhere. Anywhere. Don't let it provoke you though, there's no need for it. She's probably either high or drunk most of her life these days, she just isn't in it anymore. And with "it" I mean her life for what it truly is. Be quick about the parts of the divorce that you can handle from your side, and use the breaks her laziness offers you to relax. A divorce is a step by step process, and the mule/your ex can be stubborn all she likes, that cart is rolling down the hill with her on it. It was last year I found out since then she has buried her head in the sand while she continues her affair. I just want out of marriage as I want to get on with my life and meet new people and not have a dead marriage hanging over my head. Soon to be ex is broken, prank phone calls to OM wife, lies to friends and family, blaming me for her affair. She isn't someone I want to be attached to anymore. But she seems to be dragging her heels over divorce and clean break. I am being more than fair expecting her to pay half. But divorce papers are on the way to her. She cant drag her heels forever. Link to post Share on other sites
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