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kinda legal question (texas)


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If the wife just doesnt come home all night, or dont pick up the kids in school, does it have any legal impact on her?

Is it ok for her to just bail on caring for her kids like that?

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I'm sure there is a code citation but here's one grounds for divorce in TX:

 

ABANDONMENT. the court may grant a divorce in favor of one spouse if the other spouse: (1) left the complaining spouse with the intention of abandonment; and (2) remained away for at least one year.

 

Additionally, there are provisions for effects on custody due to parental abandonment.

 

In lieu of precise TX legal advice my IANAL advice is to document/document/document. Journal, video yourself and the kids alone with timestamps, keep records of the school contacting your regarding picking up the kids, etc, etc. More information is good information. If/when you get down to brass tacks, a good lawyer can collate it into a plan of action. If you suspect this is going to be a contested action, and you have children, no way would I ever advise proceeding pro se; get a lawyer, get a good lawyer and believe in that lawyer. Whatever happens, happens.

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Texas law allows for "no-fault" divorces. However, if one spouse is at fault for the breakup of the marriage, the court may take that into consideration in determining what is an equitable (fair) division of the couple's property. For that reason, you may want to include fault grounds in your petition for divorce. The statutory grounds for a fault divorce are: adultery, cruel treatment (that renders further living together insupportable), abandonment (for at least one year with the intent to abandon), long-term incarceration (more than one year), confinement to a mental hospital for at least three years, or living apart for at least three years. For a no-fault divorce, your petition alleges "insupportability," which is defined as discord or conflict of personalities that destroys the legitimate ends of the marriage and prevents any reasonable expectation of reconciliation.

 

 

If she running around town and not caring for the kids. DOCUMENT IT! RECORD IT! Then, give it to the lawyer. Your goal is to get custody of the kids.

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just now, the texted me to say "I just left, the car seats are in the garage", and left to meet the guy who she's cheating on me with.

Is there something I can do abt? how can I use this against her?

 

One thing I will do for sure. Gonna go home and gather all the information my lawyer asked me.

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She can be as mean to you as she wants. If you want to get some perspective on this, try watching 'War of the Roses' sometime.

 

My best advice: Pick the hill you want to die on. You get one choice.

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Happened today:

 

I am in Florida for the weekend. My wife stayed in texas with the kids. The one year old is sick. In the afternoon she messaged me saying he was super sick. at 700pm she got a baby sitter and left the kids in the house with the sitter to go watch a soccer game with her lover.

It made me so angry!! He is ONE!

Can I use that against her?

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Why do you keep digging for things to "use against her?" Like what do you want out of this divorce? To punish her? She has been terrible to you, but you can't sue your ex-lover for being a bad girlfriend or spouse. Your best goal is to have long-term happiness and peace by not having messed-up children. And that means that they DO get to be with their mother and father IF each parent is providing adequate care. Trust me, if you fight too hard to destroy her life because of your anger, you'll just be back on LS in the parenting section complaining about your problematic children acting out their issues.

 

That said, yes, do tell your lawyer all that you know. The good facts AND the bad. It sucks when lawyers are blindsided or misled because their clients only tell them the stuff that looks good for their case-- that gets you courtroom disasters. But let your attorney tell you what it all means. And think hard about what your goal is. If it's sole custody, then you'd better make sure that the reason for that is not just because you're angry. I'm not saying that it's at all wrong to be angry. Just don't want to see you shooting your future self in the foot and I know you care about your children.

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Sorry, after all you have said about your wife's behavior and the domestic violence issues in your relationship and her apparent lack of concern for her children's welfare (not picking them up at school, etc), why in the WORLD would you live them with her and go out of town???? Her first priority is her lover, it is certainly not her children. If I were you I would get back home on the next flight, pack her suitcases and have them waiting on the curb for her. You guys have a really, really toxic and frankly bizarre relationship and you need to do something for the sake of your children.

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Why do you keep digging for things to "use against her?" Like what do you want out of this divorce? To punish her? She has been terrible to you, but you can't sue your ex-lover for being a bad girlfriend or spouse. Your best goal is to have long-term happiness and peace by not having messed-up children. And that means that they DO get to be with their mother and father IF each parent is providing adequate care. Trust me, if you fight too hard to destroy her life because of your anger, you'll just be back on LS in the parenting section complaining about your problematic children acting out their issues.

 

 

No, not punish her. But make sure she is seen by the court as she is: not stable enough to be the primary caregiver for the kids.

My goal is to be the managing parent, and have her to keep the kids every other weekend or at least be the managing parent with 50/50.

In the first scenario, I would probably have my sister abandoning her career and coming over to live with me and the kids.

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Don't know about Texas judges but here in Cali she'd probably have to be arrested for smoking crack in front of the kids to have a remote chance of being removed for cause as an equal parent. I recall one friend who went to the extent of petitioning the court, in court, to have his kid'd mother tested on the spot for drugs. The judge sent her and a court officer to the testing facility, she returned positive and he terminated her parental rights on the spot. She came to court high (meth). However, it took nearly five years and over 50K in legal fees to get to that point. Pick the hill you want to die on.

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Sorry, after all you have said about your wife's behavior and the domestic violence issues in your relationship and her apparent lack of concern for her children's welfare (not picking them up at school, etc), why in the WORLD would you live them with her and go out of town???? Her first priority is her lover, it is certainly not her children. If I were you I would get back home on the next flight, pack her suitcases and have them waiting on the curb for her. You guys have a really, really toxic and frankly bizarre relationship and you need to do something for the sake of your children.

 

Guys,

 

I can't just pack her stuff and throw her out! It is ILLEGAL !!! How do you think I'm gonna look in court if I do something illegal against my spouse?? That would be done only out of revenge and punishment!

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Don't know about Texas judges but here in Cali she'd probably have to be arrested for smoking crack in front of the kids to have a remote chance of being removed for cause as an equal parent. I recall one friend who went to the extent of petitioning the court, in court, to have his kid'd mother tested on the spot for drugs. The judge sent her and a court officer to the testing facility, she returned positive and he terminated her parental rights on the spot. She came to court high (meth). However, it took nearly five years and over 50K in legal fees to get to that point. Pick the hill you want to die on.

 

I dont want to remove her from parenting. In texas when you have joint custody, one parent is the primary, or managing parent, and the other, the secundary. I want her to be secondary, and it is not that long of a shot.

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Technically, it's not illegal to pack her bags and put them at the curb and request she leave. However, you may find yourself in a pickle if you lock her out (change the locks) of the marital domicile, since she may be considered by the court to be a co-owner/co-tenant due to the laws of the state. There's generally no law against being mean but deny her admittance at your own risk and certainly with legal counsel's advice.

 

We went through an amicable version of this when my exW asked me for the keys back to the house I gave her in the divorce, even though we wouldn't be divorced for another year. The house was marital/community property but I voluntarily vacated the premises. I didn't have to. She would have required a court order for that. Of course, she could be mean (she wasn't). Again, the running of the mouth and manipulation isn't illegal. Ha!

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Technically, it's not illegal to pack her bags and put them at the curb and request she leave. However, you may find yourself in a pickle if you lock her out (change the locks) of the marital domicile, since she may be considered by the court to be a co-owner/co-tenant due to the laws of the state. There's generally no law against being mean but deny her admittance at your own risk and certainly with legal counsel's advice.

 

We went through an amicable version of this when my exW asked me for the keys back to the house I gave her in the divorce, even though we wouldn't be divorced for another year. The house was marital/community property but I voluntarily vacated the premises. I didn't have to. She would have required a court order for that. Of course, she could be mean (she wasn't). Again, the running of the mouth and manipulation isn't illegal. Ha!

 

Still, my lawyer strongly advised me not to do anything mean. Her lawyer can use that agaisnt me saying I'm cruel or abusive.

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Yes, it's generally presumed that a male, when mean, is threatening, ostensibly because he has the physical ability and violent nature to carry out his threats. Women, for whatever reason, aren't taking as seriously in this realm.

 

However, as this case underscores, dismiss women at your own risk. Very rare, but it was a sensation when it occurred, at least in my area. That's how arguments over 'stuff' (business and kids in that instance) can go sideways.

 

Glad you have a lawyer you trust. It'll work out.

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