KarlaB Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 Since I am still living with my stbx and we are wanting to keep this divorce very amicable I am finding it really hard to not get angry. I assume this is just part of it. Last night we got into a fight I asked him if he was leaving after work to go to his friends house for the weekend and he said yes.. then I very rudely said "good". He then told me to F off and was pissed the rest of the night. I apologized to him for the way that I said it, because I didn't want him to leave pissed(I don't know why I cared so much). We had a really good and honest talk the night before of why he made this decision (which he said was because he was tired of me hurting him). I stressed my opinion on how I feel he is throwing 15 years in the garbage like it's dirt on the bottom of his shoe but it still isn't going to change anything. Anyway, how do I try not to let my anger get the better of me. Link to post Share on other sites
veggielover Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 I wish I had an answer for you. I can just empathize. I have read your other posts.. and we are in pretty much the same situation. Except I KNOW there is another woman (not the cause of the separation.. but a definite symptom and he doesn't bother hiding it from me, which just rips the band-aid off every time). Just know the anger comes from the hurt. And this too shall pass. I think once I'm out of the house.. and don't have to see him, I can begin to really heal. I am in the countdown stage, as our house has sold. My daughter and I move out in 9 days. I am trying my hardest to keep things amicable. I have bitten my tongue so much it's raw. I just keep breathing and counting down. I don't know if people can really "deal" while still living together. I hope your house sells soon so you can move on. Being in limbo is the toughest part (at least for me). 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author KarlaB Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Veggie thanks everyone here makes me feel not so alone! I just saw and awesome townhouse that I would LOVE.. Downside is that I can only offer pending the sale of my house and hope no other offers come in.. I am hoping my Mom can help me out by possibly buying it so I can move now. Living here with him and seeing him do those things, regardless if it's another woman or not, makes me so angry. Thankfully he is gone this weekend and I feel a bit peaceful. Limbo is the hardest part for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Exercise til you drop. You'll still get angry (you knew there's no help there, right?) but will be too tired to act on it. Perfectly passive/aggressive... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author KarlaB Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 Well I knew there was no magic pill to over come the anger.. Anger has to be part of the process just trying to deal with it so it doesn't overcome me... For sure exercise I am hoping to join a gym here this week. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 Anyway, how do I try not to let my anger get the better of me. Focus on other things and establish clear boundaries of interaction and get your own domicile as soon as practical! BTDT, managed to get through an 18 month divorce relatively unscathed. IMO, it takes two and, if both parties commit to being amicable, it can go well. Link to post Share on other sites
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