nomoresunshine Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 I found out my husband cheated on me while pregnant with our third child, this went on for over a year before I found out. It left me totally and completely devastated. But I was willing to work through it for the sake of our kids. 2 months after he said he had no contact with her I found out he spoke to her via text again. It broke my heart all over again. He made me feel like it was sexual with her, but obviously it wasn't if he texted her again. He has made sure I am not able to leave financially, I have been a devoted stay at home wife and mother since I have been with him (14 years) so here I am stuck, no job, no education and no heart. I guess I am just enquiring if anyone on here has been through this and made it work or if it is hopeless. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 20, 2014 Share Posted August 20, 2014 There's always hope. Even if you don't have the money to divorce, can you stay with your parents, anything? Just get away from that looser, and don't believe him whenever he says he cut off the OW to do some damage control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nomoresunshine Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share Posted August 21, 2014 I could stay with my parents, but having to be a burden on them scares the supreme crap out of me, I don't even know if I want to leave, some days I do, others I don't. I believe he is a terribly slow learner, and my heart says stay, make it work, my brain says get the hell out. I crave his touch telling me everything will be ok, but honestly cannot see how to get past such a betrayal. This is a man who chose his family and quit drinking.. I think he had a breakdown, but I know it's not up to me to fix him. I want to speak to this ow, but she won't reply to me, which confuses me even more, I need to know her side..... Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 The OW can't do anything to help you, and there's not going to be any closure or apologies from her side. And why would you be a burden to your parents? They're your parents; at the very least tell them the whole story and ask. Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted August 22, 2014 Share Posted August 22, 2014 The OW can't do anything to help you, and there's not going to be any closure or apologies from her side. And why would you be a burden to your parents? They're your parents; at the very least tell them the whole story and ask. Agree As hard and as overwhelming this all seems the only way up is out. If he is not willing to work on the marriage and show you that you and your family unit are the most important things... Then he is not worthy of YOU Keep posting!!!! Support is here SS x Link to post Share on other sites
Author nomoresunshine Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 My parents, while awesome, do know the whole story, but our relationship is... Less than desirable. I have spent my whole life never living up to expectations. Long story short, I had a brother pass away when I was young so my parents being so overcome with grief never really paid much attention to me, I raised myself... we still talk, but there is no affection or closeness...they know everything, but that's where it ends. I left when I was 18, to go to my now husband, and now still not living up to expectations obviously. I know it's ridiculous to think I will get closure from the ow, but in a perfect world I guess maybe I would get her insight. To see if what he told me the reasons were the real reasons or just what I wanted to hear. Ugh so frustrating and debilitating. Where is that damn easy button! Link to post Share on other sites
Shocked Suzie Posted August 23, 2014 Share Posted August 23, 2014 There really is no her side... She obviously knows you exist and is happy to screw around with a married man with kids. Talking to her would just add another nail in your shattered confidence n self esteem. She will likley tell you hurtful BS that your H has fed her to justify him "needing" to have an affair... .. As far as I was concernd the OW was not an issue, she was not "the" problem my H was. Focus your energy on fixing you not finding out some random BS some woman who has no morals opinion or views has got to say! I think this would cause you more harm than good SS x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nomoresunshine Posted August 23, 2014 Author Share Posted August 23, 2014 I get it ss, I totally do. As stupid as it sounds, I feel bad for her as well, she's getting screwed over too. A part of me wishes she gets a really nasty std that would then not allow her to participate in her extracurricular activities 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts