dreamcatcher975 Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 I haven't made contact with my husband for about 2 months now. We have separated. I moved into a home and he doesn't know where i'm at. I figure it was the best way to just get a head start on the divorce process. He's so "sure" he wants a divorce but hasn't filed. Recently, he asked me for my signature on a loan. I never replied. Went NC. I didn't sign anything, just ignored it and kept moving forward. Well, after that.. a number of unexpected texts asking me if i'm "ignoring" him have come my way. He is the one initiating contact now. I still haven't replied. After not replying to the loan request, i figure he has it under control and won't be contacting me. I was wrong. A couple of days later i get a random Text msg from him that read.. "So are you just going to ignore me then?" I still didn't reply back. A couple of days later i get a text from him saying our car insurance needed me to update my drivers license info. I Called them (but i didnt reply to him) and asked what was going on. They told me that there was NO reason for me to call them because my drivers license info is upto date. They notated on the account that i called in to update my info.. just incase he comes up with a reason again. I felt that was kind of suspicious because if that was the case, they have my number on file, why wouldn't they just call me directly? My IC thinks he's trying to figure out my address. (i'm in the process of getting my own car insurance) Then, I also found out he texted my mom the same day telling her "she doesn't answer me." Which i found annoying because i felt like he was seeking pity from her. So anyway, I'm thinking again that it's over.. he won't do anything else. I wouldn't expect him to since he's never put in effort to contact me in the past, plus he seems so sure that this is what he wanted right? A week after the first contact, i'm home.. and i check to see my email. I got an email from my stbx! This was surprising because this is actually "effort" on his part. He's never emailed me about things. He wrote "Did you change your number or are you just ignoring me?" I don't get it. Why is it now that i give him what he was screaming for.. he's so concerned about me ignoring him? I figure this is what he wanted right? he wanted me out of his life so he can be "free" to do what ever he wants. Now, he's concerned about me ignoring him?? Shouldn't he be on cloud 9 and me ignoring him should be the last of his problems?? People who did no NC, has this ever happened? Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted August 17, 2014 Share Posted August 17, 2014 I had that experience. Although I wasn't married or seeking divorce, it was a 6 year relationship he wanted done. Unlike you I replyed to his requests, I was getting text, emails weekly. It became stressful for me, like your ex, they were pretty questions that really didn't need to contact me. I thought the same, I've given him what he wanted, so why was he contacting me about petty things. I eventually realized it was a control thing, or perhaps he wasn't fully ready to let go. I realized this when I had messages of him wanting "something heleft behind" I put his remaining things in a box and let him in to get them. He only took a fee items. Then the following week needed something else. That's when I blocked and ignored. He still tried but after 5 months it stopped. O haven't heard anything since Feb. You did the right thing, immediately blocking & ignoring. If you can completely block, change email addresses, number etc do it. I learned the hard way, it eventually made me so anxious every time I opened my email or when my phone beeped. So good for you. It will eventually stop. Take the control in your hands. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aMguilts Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 agree he`s `fishing` why `bite`?? doing ok just keep ignoring him aM 1 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted August 18, 2014 Share Posted August 18, 2014 Some people do this. They are just so think, and don't get the message. you can either keep not responding, or send a message "Yes I am ignoring you. Please do not contact me again". Then ignore everything. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author dreamcatcher975 Posted August 21, 2014 Author Share Posted August 21, 2014 He hasn't msged me, i think maybe he got the hint?!? And i haven't msged him back. I guess i was just a bit confused because he never reached out the way he did or just be concerned about me ignoring him. There have been weeks where we don't contact each other and if he did, i'd msg back (i guess that's where i was wrong) this time though i just went completely silent. I haven't called him, texted him, emailed,nothing. There have been changes in my life, like i got a job, got my own place etc. I know it's things he never expected i'd be. In my IC's words.. "he underestimated you." and for a minute i thought maybe he might have had second thoughts about the divorce. I guess just a little wishful thinking. My Ic says, that because i didn't msg him... i am slowly gaining control back but i didn't think it would be so painful. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted August 21, 2014 Share Posted August 21, 2014 He just wants money and figures you are an easy target. If he gets your address he can start other methods of contact and pushing in other ways to get money out of you. Keep ignoring him. Your doing really well. Link to post Share on other sites
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