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Hasn't been paying... Why doesn't he feel bad?!


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My husband left me (2nd time leaving). Moved in with his teenage bro (my stbxh is 26) the first 2 months he left he paid for everything. Then school ended so he no longer got his GI bill which paid for my rent. Then he lost his full time job. So he hasn't helped my pay any bills at my house in 2 months. Well he's paid the cell phone. It that's because he is on the plan too. He paid it so he can have a phone. He could care less if I have a phone even though I have our kids. He does work part time and makes tips. He hasn't offered any money towards any bills, diapers, wipes nothing! I filed for child support but we haven't gone to court yet. So I will be getting evicted any time now because I can't afford rent and all the child care expenses an diapers and wipes and gas and other bills by myself. I'm working 40-60 hours a week and then coming home and juggling the house chores and 4 kids alone. He doesn't seem to feel bad that I'm working and doin it all on my own. Will he ever feel bad that he's pretty much left all the responsibility on me? To make matters worse he said our phone contract is up and he wants me off the contract. So I'd have to pay for that. Which I can't afford. Same with car insurance. I'm paying all the children's expenses and he isn't paying anything! I don't get why he doesn't feel bad and why he's trying to screw me._

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My husband left me (2nd time leaving). Moved in with his teenage bro (my stbxh is 26) _

 

Have you looked into the various forms of assistance available? Parents or family members nearby ?

 

Your H is 26 and you have 4 kids? Wow...

 

Mr. Lucky

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Shocked Suzie

No probably not.... Mine happily allowed me n the kids become homeless, he was busy buying a new home (cause his GF has money) while I had to move house "twice" and now share a house with a friend to get something that I could afford and is half decent.

 

Mine also hasn't paid child support for 1yr. He happily pops down sees his kids moans he has no money .... With his 2 cars, 5 bedroom house with a pool...

 

Yep he hasn't a care in the world... So sadly no "some people" are in fact capable of simply walking away

 

Hope things work out for you... Spent ages wondering why n how myself, with no answer!

 

Find out your rights and what you are untitled to ... Hope you can get some financial support from child support

 

SS x

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Lernaean_Hydra

I'm not one to sit here and champion deadbeat dads or something (because my own father was one) but honestly it doesn't sound like he's not paying because he just doesn't feel like it or has 'better' things to do...it sounds like he can't. From the way you describe things for him financially, it sounds like he's barely making ends meet.

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He's 26 but I'm 30. The oldest actually isn't his. But I have custody of that child and his dad doesn't pay much (not much income) so I'm paying for everyone.

 

I wasn't mad about him not paying- I figured he only had a part time job but he sold his boat and promised me half and I got nothing. He has been buying new clothes and stuff. All I'd like is a pack of diapers and wipes every now and then? I feel like he could contribute some. You can get wipes at walmart for .98 :/ he's been working part time- he could offer to babysit so I wouldn't have to pay for child care who his such a huge expense. But he wouldn't even do that.

 

I don't expect much out of him and give him the kids every Sunday. All I seriously want is for him to contribute in some way. Even a pack of wipes helps. I also just don't get how he doesn't feel bad that I have to work so much and never see the kids and he offers no help.

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I've tried getting assistance with child care because that's a huge expense and they have a waiting list for child care vouchers. I've tried to get help with my electric because it's about to be shut off. They have me a paper with numbers of church who may help of they have funds. I have family by and they're helping as much as they can. I've been looking into low income housing also and all of those have waiting lists as well.

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If it helps to compare; my father didn't pay a cent until I reached an age in which he expected I'd be working and earning money. He then sent money 1 time to make him look like the caring father and a friend of his to our house to ask me about my e-mail address to establish contact.

Guess he thought I could be manipulated into sending him money.

 

So no, he doesn't care at all and you should stop even thinking about his part in the finances and do everything you can do to do it yourself.

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Shocked Suzie

So no, he doesn't care at all and you should stop even thinking about his part in the finances and do everything you can do to do it yourself.

 

Exactly!!!

 

Put your time and energy into focusing on you and the kids, if he is broke then there are other ways he can help take the overall pressure off you with physically helping out with the kids... If he can't even do that then I'm afraid no matter how crap it is you are on your own sadly

 

Sadly .... I understand

SS x

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