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Rapid breakup of marriage


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This chain of events are about 7 years old now but still ping in the back of my mind when I get into a new relationship even now.

 

I was married for about three years before I got a divorce. About two years in things didn't feel right. My then wife all of a sudden wanted to go out without me for "girls night out" which is fine. She had done this in the past but not every weekend. She returned home late one night drunk after being given a lift home by a friend. She went on to tell me how great the night was and how all these people where there including.. other spouses. I paid close attention as thought I'd just caught her in a lie which I couldn't believe. At that point in time I completely trusted her if she said something I stupidly believed it. Before leaving that night she clearly said it was just her and her friends no husbands or bf's which of course meant no me. This turned into quite a fight where I get told I'm paranoid, controlling, possessive and needed to trust her etc.

 

My suspicions grew over a few weeks and I battled back and forth in my mind if I'm actually paranoid or if she's up to something. There were a few incidences that had me pause to reflect. I needed the truth so I tried to check her phone which I couldn't find and when I did it's locked, it's never normally locked. I check her computer which now has a new password and has her email, facebook etc logged out at all times. I had to sneak on to it while she's in the other room. With suspicion growing even further. I login to our phone accounts online and check her recent calls/texts only to find.. a lot going to the same number over a period of weeks. I lookup the number and find a name/facebook person on her facebook page of course.

 

A keylogger was installed on her laptop. At this point I needed hard facts if I'm to confront her. The same day I install the keylogger we sit down at night to talk about the issues in our marriage and of course she's ignoring me again for her laptop talking to her "friend". Next day while she's at work I call in sick. I review the screenshots and logs from the keylogger and find her "friend" is the same guy who she's been texting and calling. I find their chats are quite explicit at times and indicate they are having an intimate relationship. I felt quite stupid and sick for not acting sooner but relieved that my gut was right all along. The "friend" was well aware she was married. From the facebook logs he claimed his marriage is over and getting divorced, she believes it.

 

I phone my soon to be ex while she's still in the office and confront her. She denies it over and over again until I tell her I've seen her messages on facebook and found a ton of evidence including pictures supporting my claims. She breaks down and I ask her to stay at her "friends" place and hangup. I monitor her email and notice she quickly tells her bf that the game is up and she's scared. I then call the other man at his office and confront him. He too is stupid enough to deny it. I repeat his last email to my then wife word for word and he suddenly pays attention. I give him 15 minutes to be a man and tell his wife or I will. I'm assuming at this point he's enjoying having his cake and eating it too and isn't getting a divorce but in fact still with the wife.

 

I demand he email his wife as to put it in print, copy me and my soon to be ex and that'll be the end of it. If he fails to do so I'll call her, email and text her the pictures and messages sent back and forth. At this point in time I had no information on who his wife was not even a name. He complies within minutes and emails her. He carefully paints his version of events and appears apologetic. I email his wife privately afterword's. I apologize ahead of time and inform her that his version of events was inaccurate and peppered with lies. She gives me her number and we talk on the phone. She gets quite emotional and ends up blaming me for wrecking their marriage and hangs up. I wait a few days and email her again and apologize that I'm bringing this to her. I offer her the full truth in black and white via the logs. She accepts we talk a few times where she admits he'd done it in the past and always denies it, she can't trust him, they have children etc. She asks what will happen to my marriage and I inform her I'll leave and file for divorce as soon as is possible. I suggest she do the same as these types of liars rarely change.

 

I moved out of the marital home a few weeks later. I moved quickly into a small flat. My ex was shocked that everything came apart so fast and that I'd actually leave her. I'll admit it was very hard to do but I knew if I didn't I could be inviting more of the same further down the road. Sometime later I discover by accident through a friend that the same guy had played another woman at around the same time he was playing my ex. This other woman had left her husband for the same guy! A bit over a year later my ex calls me up out of the blue one night to apologize. She finally accepted what she'd done wrong. I'll admit I was shocked. She appeared quite genuine in her apology and was emotional. I accepted her apology and suggested she move on. We never spoke again.

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Bravo sir, bravo. Couldn't have played it out any better.

Thanks, and thanks to some luck too. Things came together very nicely in the end. I can only hope she learnt a serious life lesson there that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

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