nin5in Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) I thought that we were doing so well, but apparently not. He started ignoring me again today. He's an OTR truck driver and he's on the road all the time. When I was talking to him today he suddenly started having a conversation with someone else while we was on the phone, and he ****ing hung up on me. I kept calling him back plenty of times, and he either keep rejecting my phone call or letting it go to voicemail. I have a feeling that he has met up with the OW, because he is currently in the town where she lives, and he still hasn't called me back. Now he has his phone powered off and this isn't the first time he has done this. I wish I could leave right now if I could, but I am financially dependent on him and I don't have a drivers license, only a permit. Because of that and the fact that we have 4 kids together, I have to plan my exit strategy carefully and stay until I have gained enough independence to leave. He absolutely refuses MC, so I have no other choice. I don't know how long it's going to take, but this is something that I must do. Edited July 21, 2014 by nin5in Link to post Share on other sites
ashleyjohn Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 That's really sad to hear and I have all my sympathy with you. Like you said, you're financially dependent on him, so it's better you get a job first and then think about leaving him. Plus, you need to be careful with the separation procedure as you'll need custody for your children also. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Eivuwan Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I'm sorry to hear of what you're going through. It seems like the only thing you can do is treat him like a roommate and have no expectations of him. Have you considered individual counseling for yourself to help you get through all this? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
melodicintention Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 Can you not take all of this to an attorney and then use it against him in divorce court? I'm not versed on divorce court, but it seems when someone is cheating they tend to get shafted in court. OTR drivers can make some seriously nice money. YOu got 4 kids. I"m seeing $$$. Sue him for child support and alimony. Sounds like you got plenty of circumstantial evidence. Start documenting EVERYTHING that happens. Keep a log. Divorce this bastard in your heart for now. Make your stealthy plans. Keep on the down low. Then pounce on him and his wallet when the time comes. All's fair in love and war. He wanna play games, fine, but YOU'RE gonna be the coach. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author nin5in Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) Thanks everyone. Well here's what happened this morning. He called me 6 times repeatedly. Mind you I didn't hear my phone because I had put it in my room while I was cleaning and I'm starting to do the 180. When I called him back, he come talking someone had stole his phone and that he had to buy another one :eyeroll:. He also said that he had also picked up a copy of our marriage certificate while he was down there (we used to live there). I'm still making my plans and right now I'm doing the 180 on his ass, not for him but for myself. Edited July 21, 2014 by nin5in 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 he come talking someone had stole his phone and that he had to buy another one :eyeroll: If those kind of people at least did what they do with some class and decency... Glad your'e making plans. Just keep a healthy distance from now on, wouldn't want to ruin the surprise. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nin5in Posted July 21, 2014 Author Share Posted July 21, 2014 If those kind of people at least did what they do with some class and decency... Glad your'e making plans. Just keep a healthy distance from now on, wouldn't want to ruin the surprise. Exactly. I think that doing a hard 180 would be counterproductive to my end plan, so I think that doing a soft 180 will sort of keep him in the dark about what I'm doing. I want this to be an absolute shock and surprise to him, and I also want to make sure that he doesn't do anything to thwart my plans. Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 (edited) Can you not take all of this to an attorney and then use it against him in divorce court? I'm not versed on divorce court, but it seems when someone is cheating they tend to get shafted in court. OTR drivers can make some seriously nice money. YOu got 4 kids. I"m seeing $$$. Sue him for child support and alimony. Sounds like you got plenty of circumstantial evidence. Start documenting EVERYTHING that happens. Keep a log. Divorce this bastard in your heart for now. Make your stealthy plans. Keep on the down low. Then pounce on him and his wallet when the time comes. All's fair in love and war. He wanna play games, fine, but YOU'RE gonna be the coach. Sounds like the philosophy of a weak, scared person. In my observations, the ones who tend to "document everything" are the most vindictive ones who don't necessarily have any case at all to document but rather try to make a normal person look bad. People of good character just live their lives and don't play this juvenile game. My ex wife I know has a journal going about me, guaranteed. But she has no case. She might convince herself of her fabrications but so far two CPS workers and three court judges haven't believed her nonsense. Edited July 21, 2014 by M30USA 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jakrbbt Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I agree with M30USA on that point. As I've said in LS before, family law courts are not there to vindicate the parties or reward people who have been wronged. They are there to secure the best interests of the child and divide assets in a way that comports with marital property laws. It hurts to be cheated on and mistreated, and a lot of people would like to "sue" for "damages" when someone did that to them. But I agree that, when someone tries to twist the divorce court into a forum where they can basically sue someone for wronging them, it doesn't work out. It's a waste of time at best and a horrible expensive mess with the kids used as weapons, at worst. My two cents'. There are times when documentation is important, but check with a lawyer before you waste your time on that. Not that you haven't been emotionally and morally wronged. I just don't want to see you steered in the wrong direction by trying to use the court system to get money for those wrongs. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted July 21, 2014 Share Posted July 21, 2014 I agree with M30USA on that point. As I've said in LS before, family law courts are not there to vindicate the parties or reward people who have been wronged. They are there to secure the best interests of the child and divide assets in a way that comports with marital property laws. It hurts to be cheated on and mistreated, and a lot of people would like to "sue" for "damages" when someone did that to them. But I agree that, when someone tries to twist the divorce court into a forum where they can basically sue someone for wronging them, it doesn't work out. It's a waste of time at best and a horrible expensive mess with the kids used as weapons, at worst. My two cents'. There are times when documentation is important, but check with a lawyer before you waste your time on that. Not that you haven't been emotionally and morally wronged. I just don't want to see you steered in the wrong direction by trying to use the court system to get money for those wrongs. Agreed. The only documentation I did was trying to fend off HER false accusations. When she started her accusation sprees, I would begin to send emails to her at EVERY child exchange stating the condition of children, etc, etc. But this is far different from going on the offense and playing the "gotcha game". Link to post Share on other sites
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