Mattlm23 Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 I am a father of two girls, one 4 1/2 yrs and one 5 months. The mother of my girls and I have been together for 5 years. I moved to her state to better my life after a long struggle with drug addiction. I lost my mother and brother at a early age in my life and dealt with there deaths hard. I eventually turned to the dark side and did drugs to numb the pain. I moved far away to my brother and his loving family's house to get better and that's when I met the mother of my children. To make a long story short we had our first child and moved in together, her knowing my past, and we were in love. I ****ed up and dealt with my past demons while being a great father and boyfriend but relapsed over our relationship. We still stayed together and made things work, me working in my addiction and 4 yrs later we had a baby girl now 5 months. I have been sober and been doing great. We had an agreement that if I relapsed again she would leave me and I agreed knowing that I wanted her in my life forever and I never wanted to go down that road of drugs again. Her brothers birthday came and her family and I had a party for him at our house. Everyone was drinking and having a good time and her father asked me to get a drug for him and I reluctantly did. I did not want any of it but being drunk he offered and I did a very small amount. She found out and I told her I did not want to but in fact her dad did it and wanted it but me being an addict being drunk should have told her after he asked me and been the Better Man. She told me that that was the last time no matter who it was for and broke up with me. That was about 2 1/2 months ago and since then she met someone from work, her dad is her boss and knows she's messing around with him. We still live together with our daughters. I have been taking care of them all day and night and have been sober since. She has been staying the night with him most nights, but also staying with me and our daughters too. We have not been Intimate and I know she Is having sex with him. I have been and always will be a great father. But I don't know what I should do to get her back and be a family again.. Or if I should just move on and get an apt and keep being the best father I can be, Praying that I can get her back or finding someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted July 8, 2014 Share Posted July 8, 2014 Everyone was drinking and having a good time and her father asked me to get a drug for him and I reluctantly did. I did not want any of it but being drunk he offered and I did a very small amount. She found out and I told her I did not want to but in fact her dad did it and wanted it but me being an addict being drunk should have told her after he asked me and been the Better Man. Having dealt with family members struggling with addiction my entire life, your reasoning has a familiar ring. "I was drunk". "I didn't want to do it". "Someone else made me do it". "I only did a little". Are you in NA? Going to meetings? Working the steps? Any chance of success with your wife is tied to your recovery. Right now, that should be your first and only priority... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mattlm23 Posted July 11, 2014 Author Share Posted July 11, 2014 I am attending meetings and have been for a year and a half. She knows that I do, but feels it's not working if in fact I did what I did. She is not an addict and has never even smoked a cig. I asked her to come with me to a meeting And talk to my counselor but she is so done and has already been seeing this guy immediately after our break. In stuck in a horrible situation because we still live together with our daughters And yet she leaves to spend the night with him( who is living with his uncle and has nothing going for himself. Idk what I should do . I have been taking care of our girls and would be nothing if it weren't for them... But pray everyday she will want to be a family again. She's young so there's still hope. I guess? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mattlm23 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Share Posted July 27, 2014 Mr lucky, Thank you for your reply and advice. What do you recommend that I do? Is it best for me to continue to live in our house with her while she continues to stay the night with this guy whenever she wants, or should I move out and find an apt and split time with our daughters? I love her immensely. We are not married, but I want more than anything for her to be my wife and for us to be happy and raise our family together. I just don't know if it's too late and if she can ever be in love with me again. Please respond asap. I'm stressed and am feeling like there's no hope for us. Should i just keep holding on to her in hope that she'll want me again? I'm not looking for a relationship with any other woman. I pray a lot that if my daughters mother and I are not meant to be, then to take these feelings I have for her and let them go, and help me find love again. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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