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is this a good reason for divorce?


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heartbroken2014

Do you think this issues are good reasons for divorce?

 

-I was dealing with the past emotional baggage

-I was afraid of to completely let your partner in

-I had some communication problems (I would hurt him sometimes when I couldn't reach him out)

-I was afraid of moving out to another place

-I asked for help to third people (parents, Pastor, Friends) to save my marriage

-I tried to contact him when he is giving you the silent treatment

 

My husband says that he hates me, and I don't know if the reasons above are good reasons for that...I already recognized my mistakes to him, and I told him that I was working out...

 

So please be honest and tell me if they are good reasons for getting a divorce

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RightThere
Do you think this issues are good reasons for divorce?

 

-I was dealing with the past emotional baggage

-I was afraid of to completely let your partner in

-I had some communication problems (I would hurt him sometimes when I couldn't reach him out)

-I was afraid of moving out to another place

-I asked for help to third people (parents, Pastor, Friends) to save my marriage

-I tried to contact him when he is giving you the silent treatment

 

Frankly those are none of the reasons you are getting divorced. Those are all reason you have issues. Individually. They've probably caused you to be distant or mean to your husband, but your "past emotional baggage" isn't why you're getting divorced.

 

You're getting divorced because you may not have been fulfilling your husband's needs.

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heartbroken2014
Frankly those are none of the reasons you are getting divorced. Those are all reason you have issues. Individually. They've probably caused you to be distant or mean to your husband, but your "past emotional baggage" isn't why you're getting divorced.

 

You're getting divorced because you may not have been fulfilling your husband's needs.

 

Well he wasn't perfect either, we both have our own issues...I know that probably I was not fulfilling him, but he never told me anything of this...I recognized all this because I have been growing up and making myself a better person...I just feel that I loved him with all his problems, and he didn't love in the same way

 

So probably the question would be...If you love someone and that person has those issues or did those things...would you work out in your marriage or get a divorce?

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amaysngrace

I left. I didn't feel like waiting around any longer to see if he'd get his head out of his ass or not.

 

There's only so much time you can spend being unhappy with somebody until you finally say "enough".

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heartbroken2014
Frankly those are none of the reasons you are getting divorced. Those are all reason you have issues. Individually. They've probably caused you to be distant or mean to your husband, but your "past emotional baggage" isn't why you're getting divorced.

 

You're getting divorced because you may not have been fulfilling your husband's needs.

 

I don't understand when you said about fulfilling his needs...can you tell me please?

 

"Expecting your spouse to fill your emotional needs is not only unfair, it is unreasonable. You should take responsibility for filling your emotional needs yourself."

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heartbroken2014

The reason that I posted this is because he is making feel guilty for our separation...

 

He gave me the silent treatment for a month,

 

so, I recognized my problems (the ones listed in the original post), and I told him that I was working out on myself...then he said he hates me because I tried to talk to him while he was giving me the silent treatment, and because I asked for help to a pastor and his parents.

 

So I just want to know if you would stay with your partner if she/he has the same issues that I had (the ones listed in the original post), or you would just get a divorce without even trying to work out first?

 

thanks :)

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No one should be "allowed" to make you feel any certain way.

 

You know how YOU feel.

 

Act on that. Be true to yourself.

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heartbroken2014

I think that marriage is about many things, and one of them is learning and growing up together...We were not mature enough when we got married...and I guess he never really loved me to fight for us.

 

“Marriage is like riding a tandem bike uphill,

it takes two peddlers working together to make it go.

Both riders know the trip is rough in spots, and that the peddling would get hard”

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amaysngrace

Giving someone the silent treatment borders on emotional abuse.

 

Here's the deal. You were damaged when you got with him so you weren't in your proper frame of mind when choosing him as your partner.

 

He may not be the most healthy person for you to be with. He probably never was.

 

I wouldn't try to fight the divorce too much if I were you. I'd look at it as an opportunity to grow as an individual and have hope for things to come.

 

Truly if you have been working to improve yourself by working through your issues, you deserve a partner who loves you enough to be supportive.

 

Let him go.

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Smilecharmer

Are you sure there isn't another woman? These reasons seem slim compared to many I've read on here.

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heartbroken2014
Giving someone the silent treatment borders on emotional abuse.

 

Here's the deal. You were damaged when you got with him so you weren't in your proper frame of mind when choosing him as your partner.

 

He may not be the most healthy person for you to be with. He probably never was.

 

I wouldn't try to fight the divorce too much if I were you. I'd look at it as an opportunity to grow as an individual and have hope for things to come.

 

Truly if you have been working to improve yourself by working through your issues, you deserve a partner who loves you enough to be supportive.

 

Let him go.

 

Thanks a lot! you are right! I think is time for me to let him go, and move on...:)

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amaysngrace
I think is time for me to let him go, and move on...:)

 

That sounds like a good plan! :)

 

Now I get to be Delilah and play a song for you!! :bunny:

 

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PegNosePete

I don't understand why you're asking this question.

If your husband wants a divorce then there is little you can do to prevent that.

Whether you think the reasons he has given are "good enough" or not is irrelevant.

It's what he thinks that matters. You can't use logic to try to convince him that he still wants to be married to you.

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