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How to know when its time to call it quits?


someonespecial

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someonespecial

I have been married for almost 16 years. We have two teenage kids. During our first 8 years of marriage my husband was physically abusive. Around that time, because of the abuse, I had an emotional affair with someone, told him, we worked it out and we got back together. Ever since then he has been emotionally abusive to me calling me names such as F***ing b**ch, etc. He also is very controlling, telling me where I can go, who I can go out with, making me contact him when i get to work and when I leave work and what I can wear to work and out. I accommodated this in the beginning because of the affair and I wanted to make him trust me again. However, it has been almost nine years since the affair. I cant take it anymore. I have discussed this with him and he says that because I had an affair that is what he needs to make our relationship work and for him to not get hurt again. It is also okay for him to have friends that are girls and I really don't care because I do trust him.

 

I dont feel the love I once had and I think about finding someone else to be in a loving relationship with all the time. I dont want to make the wrong decision though. How do I know if it is time to call it quits.

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I have been married for almost 16 years. We have two teenage kids. During our first 8 years of marriage my husband was physically abusive. Around that time, because of the abuse, I had an emotional affair with someone, told him, we worked it out and we got back together. Ever since then he has been emotionally abusive to me calling me names such as F***ing b**ch, etc. He also is very controlling, telling me where I can go, who I can go out with, making me contact him when i get to work and when I leave work and what I can wear to work and out. I accommodated this in the beginning because of the affair and I wanted to make him trust me again. However, it has been almost nine years since the affair. I cant take it anymore. I have discussed this with him and he says that because I had an affair that is what he needs to make our relationship work and for him to not get hurt again. It is also okay for him to have friends that are girls and I really don't care because I do trust him.

 

I dont feel the love I once had and I think about finding someone else to be in a loving relationship with all the time. I dont want to make the wrong decision though. How do I know if it is time to call it quits.

 

 

It does not surprise me that you don't feel the love you once had.

Your husband is using your emotional affair against you.

You did the right thing, by a normal persons standards, in telling him where you stood in the relationship. Rather than take this as a sign meaning danger! I am losing the heart of my wife lets win it back and love her unconditionally! your husband has chosen to torture you with it, he has chosen to hang it over your head and trap you in an emotional gridlock.

 

 

Your husband seems a selfish man. His present treatment of you is what HE needs to make the relationship work. Because HE doesn't want to get hurt again. Where is the acknowledgment of your pain? Physically abusing did not keep you in check so to speak and so it seems now he has migrated to emotional abuse.

 

 

I think you may already know that now is time to call it quits. I think you may even know that calling quits is long overdue. Is it the wrong decision? who knows. Will you find that someone to cherish you as you deserve? maybe so, maybe not. Will walking away be one of the hardest things you have ever done? more than likely...

 

 

but what is harder? ... laying down next to a man who has physically and emotionally abused you for 16 long years with not an ounce of love left in your heart for him and dreaming of happier times with a faceless, loving man that does not exist yet.... until the end of your days... or breaking free to give yourself a chance at happiness?

 

 

There is a life you want. A woman you want to be. A level of peace and happiness you deserve. It is in your hands to take control of that. Do you want to leave your life, heart & soul under his control. It seems he will only batter it and I think you need someone to handle it with care. Starting with yourself.

 

 

bless you, I hope you have people to turn to. Family, friends and the support of your kids.

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How to know when its time to call it quits?

 

When one's communicated elemental and agreed-upon needs and wants relevant to their marriage agreement are unilaterally and capriciously being avoided/going unfulfilled.

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