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I've been married for almost 3 years. We have had serious problems since we married. Surgeries followed by economic impacts a business that didn't make it, my spouse signing over custody of children from a prior marriage. The list of major issues is astronomical.

In the last 6 months my spouse has worked 2 jobs and went to school (with out my knowledge until the orientation process was completed) I have fully supported his wishes with his dreams of bettering himself. He works around 35-50 hours per week. He also went to college 3 nights per week. I was responsible to take care of... The home inside and out, my daughter from a prior relationship, she is home schooled also, our yard upkeep and all if our animals and our farm- not to mention helping out elderly family members and disabled family members and I also worked part time, cooked breakfast and dinner everyday, and kept up with vehicle maintenance- all my husband did was work, school, homework, sleep.... And on his day off he did whatever he wanted! Went hunting, watched football all day, never give me the time of day or involved me or invited me!

At this point my husband does not understand why I am so hurt and upset he claims I should be happy! I try to explain how I feel to him and he never shows or speaks of emotion ! So I am always pouring my heart out and most of the time he never says a word back!

He is controlling and has a issue with me stating my opinion to anyone! He only wants to talk about other people and drama that doesn't involve us in any way!

 

We have agreed to seperate however he says he wants to try to reconcile the marriage- by keeping things exactly the same but living apart.

I do not want to seperate I have been to marriage therapy and counceling with out my husband-he refused to go-

I have hired a lawyer at this point due to feeling so helpless and dependent on my husband.

Any information would greatly help in this situation - any one else out there that doesn't want to divorce but feel like their back is against the wall ?

My daughter is excited over the seperation my husband and her had a terrible relationship due to him she has sincerely tried - he will not be a parent for her

 

Am I doing the right thing? My husband says everyone feels/lives like this ?? Is it normal for one spouse to cry everyday because they simply want to be wanted or loved or simply spoken to?

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Your husband is someone who doesn't understand the hard work involved in keeping a house clean/functioning. He doesn't understand that it's just as hard as (if not harder than) having a real job. And there are no weekends! If that's something that he can learn to understand, there might be a chance for you. Maybe.

 

But my biggest concern is, your child is unhappy living with him. (Did you know this before even marrying him?) Shouldn't your child's happiness have a bigger impact in this?

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I have tried to do everything in my power to build a relationship between them- set up activities and play therapist to them - my child is 13 and she does try- my husband does not and will go 6 months with out doing anything with my daughter ! Until I force him to do something with her-

Pre marriage was NOT like this between them ! We got married and my husband changed over night !! To me and my child !

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