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The hunker down


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Hi guys

 

Thanks for all the advice, and now I come to you for more.

 

I'm battening down the hatches, I'm aware the ex has a boyfriend, I've had the rage about that, the fear of the possible introduction of him to my son, the house is going on the market, I'm 7 months single and counting.

 

I believe I'm facing the long haul or hunker down, the stretch of time between selling the house and the divorce. Does anyone have any tips on the survival of the hunker down?

 

It's a long way to summer (when hopefully things will become clearer regards divorce, house sale etc)

 

How will I keep my chin up and keep fighting the good fight to its conclusion?

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How will I keep my chin up and keep fighting the good fight to its conclusion?

 

By not focusing on the divorce or whatever your STBXW is doing. It's part of your life now, but not all of your life.

 

Keep doing other things to keep you distracted. Don't get too low during the lows and don't get too high from the highs. All of this is pretty cliche, but you'll recognize it while it's going on for you.

 

Good luck.

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TheBladeRunner

Ugh! The STBXW's BF and the kids thing.....I feel your pain. All you can do is hope she's smart enough to connect with a decent guy, that's the best you can do. I am fortunate, but it gets to me as well. Just last night my 5 YO daughter was having some confusion regarding the BF being "like a daddy" and it was upsetting her. After an hour of carefully spoken words she felt better. Frankly, I think my XW introduced the BF and his kids way too soon (after 1 month).

 

As far as digging in, do what you have to do. When I had to face the facts I did as much as I could within myself to ALWAYS maintain my cool in front of her and learned how to accept all the BS that goes with divorce that I cannot change. Things such as her partying, the BF, the different parenting styles.....you get the picture. Don't sweat the small stuff, the house is just a house and I hope it sells soon and before you know it the D will be over with.

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Take this time to work on yourself, mentally and physically. Don't get into sitting at home watching cheap cable shows to keep your mind off her. I would go to a blues club and listen to live music, cheap admission and you got to hear some great live music with a lot of music lovers. Every city posts free things to do on their web page, you will be amazed at who goes to these events. Try giving your time to help feed the homeless a couple of times a month, good Karma. I took some cooking classes, met some great people, some who were going through the same thing as me. We now have a gourmet cooking club and we meet once a month at one of our homes for a theme night, the host makes the main course and each guest prepares a side dish. We each bring a wine that goes with our dish. They all have female friends they want me to meet. You have got to get yourself out there. Go put a deposit down on a trip you always wanted to take, set a date and book it. Many travel companies will allow you to pay on terms, not a charge but more like a layaway.

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