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Ex wants to talk


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secondfailure

Hello,

 

Need some serioud adviced here. STBXW called me and said she wanted ot meet becasue se thinks she made a miskae. To give a lttle background, we separated back in Augutst becasue we argued over her kids and I got really angry and threatned the oldest one who was 18 at the time. Since then I havbe gone to IC, Anger Management and have really become a differnt person. I still ove her. And she did tell me she was seeing somebode else but she ended it becasue it was for all the wrong reason (to get over me). That hurt me but not as bad as I thought it would. Hell so have I but she doe snot need to know that. I am really confused. Last time we spoke which was back in November she told me to leave her alone whaich I did. went full no contact. By the way that really works..... Now I am so confused. I am heading out of town for business but she asked me to call hner tonight. I think I need to wait a few day to call. My emotions are all over the place. My divorce care counsleor told me to ask myself is this what I want to ask myself why is she coming back.

 

We all make mistakes and should I just keep moving forward or give tis a chance. Why would God do this to me. Is this a test to see how far I have come and to see how I would do in a situation like this....

 

Pleae give me some advice.

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Well, what do you want? Do you want to get back together with her?

 

Leave God out of it... it's not him making the calls, it's your wife.

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Well, if you do talk to her. I think it would be wise to let her know that you were seeing someone as well. If you can't be completely honest with her, then you'd be getting back together for all the wrong reasons.

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we separated back in Augutst becasue we argued over her kids and I got really angry and threatned the oldest one who was 18 at the time. Since then I havbe gone to IC, Anger Management and have really become a differnt person

 

Are you 100% sure that if the same argument occurred that you'd be able to keep calm enough to not threaten the 18yo?

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Are you 100% sure that if the same argument occurred that you'd be able to keep calm enough to not threaten the 18yo?

 

To be fair, there are no 100% guarantees. However has the OP learned some better coping mechanisms to deal with those kinds of situations.

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Notice how she mentioned dating someone else and you have too but "she doesn't need to know that." I'm just speculating, but i think she got dumped and expects you to inflate her ego. If it's important enough, she can say it over the phone. Don't let your love for her block out your self respect.

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Are you sure that she's coming back because the relationship with the other man didn't work? If that's the case, doesn't this make you the back-up option?

What made her realize her mistake? Why now (after 'she's finished seeing the other person')

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Send her a short text to let her know that you have to go out of town.

 

See if she can talk you over the phone, if it is so urgent.

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