Monodare1 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Hi guys I've been separated for 7 month now, the ex has a boyfriend and I'm living with my elderly father. The ex has decided she wants us to sell the house we bought a couple of years ago and get a flat for her and my son. The mother in law moved in when I moved out and she's been paying my half of the mortgage as a sort of rent (she had relationship issues). Now the ex wants to sell, her mother and two younger brothers are seeking council accommodation which will mean I will need to start paying my half of the mortgage despite not living there which will financially cripple me. I've been keen to rebuild my life and confidence by going out, meeting new people etc, but this financial situation will put paid to that severely. Just wondering if any one has any coping ideas to get me through. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Get a second job? Hire an aggressive realtor to sell the house as fast as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
SnapCracklePop Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Monodare1, things will get better. Trust me... you just need to get through this chapter, and the next one will be better. Selling the house is a good thing. Your ex has a bf, so you two are not looking to reconcile. The best thing now is to get rid of whatever ties you are able to get rid of (not your son obviously). So, the house... Get some (3) real estate agents in to appraise the house. You could get your bank to appraise the house as well, but typically a real estate agent will return a higher value because they take into account their commission, current buyer trends, and other factors that the bank may not consider. With the appraised value, minus what is left owing on the mortgage, divide the result in two... you will see what $$ you will have coming towards you so that you can continue to build your own life. Is she going to buy you out of the mortgage, or will you both opt to sell? Either way, moving forward on getting your name off that mortgage is a good thing for you. Spring is around the corner, and that is typically a very good time to sell your home. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 OP, don't know the statutes in the UK but here in the US a mortgagor, if married, is jointly and severally responsible for a mortgage where both parties names are on the mortgage. In community property states, if the mortgage is entered into after marriage, regardless of whose name is on it, the mortgage becomes a marital debt to be adjudicated as part of the divorce settlement. Here, regardless of other arrangements, the non-resident mortgagor remains responsible for making sure the mortgage is paid and can accrue penalties or be sued for non-performance. In your case, it appears there is no arrears so the mortgage holder is happy but STBX could come after you for settlement relief for non-payment out of any equity position you currently hold. IMO, a solicitor familiar with your local statues will go far to assuage your dread. A good one will lay out the options, walk you through the path of each, showing you the advantages and risks, and help you make an informed decision about how to move forward. I've been divorced and settled out a couple of residences during the process, in addition to other real estate and had the guidance of a competent lawyer. It was tough and I'm still digging out over three years later but it's a process. Nothing in life is guaranteed. Consider your options, make the most informed choice you can, and get moving. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted January 20, 2014 Share Posted January 20, 2014 Monodare1, things will get better. Trust me... you just need to get through this chapter, and the next one will be better. Selling the house is a good thing. Your ex has a bf, so you two are not looking to reconcile. The best thing now is to get rid of whatever ties you are able to get rid of (not your son obviously). So, the house... Get some (3) real estate agents in to appraise the house. You could get your bank to appraise the house as well, but typically a real estate agent will return a higher value because they take into account their commission, current buyer trends, and other factors that the bank may not consider. With the appraised value, minus what is left owing on the mortgage, divide the result in two... you will see what $$ you will have coming towards you so that you can continue to build your own life. Is she going to buy you out of the mortgage, or will you both opt to sell? Either way, moving forward on getting your name off that mortgage is a good thing for you. Spring is around the corner, and that is typically a very good time to sell your home. I agree with this.. and then just put everything behind you. Link to post Share on other sites
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