Loulou99 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Hi guys I'm after some advice My husband and I have been together for 10 years, a few months ago he told me that he no longer felt the same way about me. He couldn't explain why or how bit things had changed between us for him and he was no longer in love with me. At this time he had been travelling a lot for work, more than the ordinary amount At the time we talked, we decided that we had a good marriage and he wanted to try and find the feelings we once had We did a sort of trial period and decided we should try and find the "spark" Sometimes during the trial he really tried to fix our marriage and put in the time and effort. Other times he would bury his head in the sand and just sign himself up for more and more work taking himself away every weekend for around 2 months Fast forward a week before Christmas, he tells me he can no longer continue with the relationship. He is tired of trying and doesn't think it will work so ended the marriage. We spent Christmas living in the house together, crying and talking. It was very hard. Fast forwArd and he has now moved out and I am beside myself. I don't know how to cope on my own, we have been together 10 years and I have built my life around him and our marriage. I moved away from where I grew up to be with him and all of the friends I have are our friends I have no support around here and I miss him so intensely it hurts How do I move on? Link to post Share on other sites
AB123 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Hi I don't know what advice I can give you but I wanted you to know you are not alone. After 16 years of marriage my husband said he didn't think he loved me and didn't know what to do. For four months went to relate before decided he was going to leave. He then took five weeks to leave. Like you I moved away from where I grew up so I have little support. I have to keep going for my sons but sometimes it is very hard to cope. We have been separated for six months now and though I still have my ups and downs it is a lot easier and I am looking more positvely towards the future. Hang in there. Relate really helped me to come to terms with things. They may be able to help you. It's important to talk about it with someone. I will be thinking of you Link to post Share on other sites
Hurt and sad Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 I too feel how you do! My husband and I have been married for 14 years on Valentines day coming up! He told me just before Christmas that he was done and he said he has never loved me and he's tired of pretending. I of course have been head over heels in love with him since high school and I don't really believe his excuse. He is going through a lot medically so I think it falls back into that. I am alone now with 2 kids and while he says he wants to be a part if our lives and that he cares for me as a close friend and wants to help me financially and otherwise it's not good enough for me. I love him and want him next to me in bed, and living in the same home! We are still in the same house now but in the process of looking for me and the kids a place to live. I am hurt, angry, confused, and I feel things I don't know how to explain! I am trying to have hope without getting too much. All I can say is talk about it with people that you feel comfortable with. I am seeing a therapist because I haven't been able to eat/sleep in forever. Talking has helped. I still have people to tell about our situation and it's difficult to even think about it. But I used to be the type to hold it all in and I felt that I was at a breaking point so before I exploded I got help. I can relate to your feelings! It's so hard to accept such a situation. And even worse is that there is nothing we can do to change their minds. I have tried everything including begging and offers to change myself just so he would see me differently. I have cried so much that I don't feel like I have tears left but then i Suprise myself and the cycle starts over! I'll pray for you and if you are a believer of prayer maybe you can send some my way! Link to post Share on other sites
thedude1974 Posted January 15, 2014 Share Posted January 15, 2014 Hi guys I'm after some advice My husband and I have been together for 10 years, a few months ago he told me that he no longer felt the same way about me. He couldn't explain why or how bit things had changed between us for him and he was no longer in love with me. At this time he had been travelling a lot for work, more than the ordinary amount At the time we talked, we decided that we had a good marriage and he wanted to try and find the feelings we once had We did a sort of trial period and decided we should try and find the "spark" Sometimes during the trial he really tried to fix our marriage and put in the time and effort. Other times he would bury his head in the sand and just sign himself up for more and more work taking himself away every weekend for around 2 months Fast forward a week before Christmas, he tells me he can no longer continue with the relationship. He is tired of trying and doesn't think it will work so ended the marriage. We spent Christmas living in the house together, crying and talking. It was very hard. Fast forwArd and he has now moved out and I am beside myself. I don't know how to cope on my own, we have been together 10 years and I have built my life around him and our marriage. I moved away from where I grew up to be with him and all of the friends I have are our friends I have no support around here and I miss him so intensely it hurts How do I move on? These are red flags for an affair (Physical or Emotional). You must rule it out. Investigate cell phone records and anything else you can have access to, like email, FB... Good Luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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