RedHawk08 Posted January 12, 2014 Share Posted January 12, 2014 Are any of you using the "Divorce Busting" 180's? Or have you formed your own to counteract yoir own behaviours? Anyone having success with theirs? Both in personal growth and attracting the wandering spouse back. Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 I actually have the book but haven't gotten far enough into it yet for their interpretation of the 180. I did the typical BS thing and bought way too many of these divorce books at once and I'm still trying to work through the pile. I know if I didn't have a child involved, I know I would be neck deep in a full 180. However I'm on a modified 180, which is much harder. My STBXW uses that little bit of required communication to manipulate things. As for a tool to get a WS to come back, it only works if the other spouse has some feelings still for you. It forces them to confront being without you as it's probably been an easier road for them while you supported them. However it's not a guarantee that using it will return your spouse to you. It just helps you set healthy boundaries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author RedHawk08 Posted January 13, 2014 Author Share Posted January 13, 2014 I think it's one of those things that's wise to use in the initial stages. So that you aren't driven to the point of madness in your already fragile emotional state. I got put on Prozac about 4 days before my wife dropped the bomb. So not only was I emotional from that, I discovered that Prozac does NOT agree with me! I was mood swinging like you wouldn't believe. I know that scared her. It's embarrassing for me too. But then empathy is not one of my wife's strong points at the moment. Long term, I'm not a huge fan of the 180 if you're still hoping to reconcile. If your spouse has done something that you cannot forgive, and you want your marriage to end too, it's great for that. But I don't think it's applicable to every situation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RightThere Posted January 13, 2014 Share Posted January 13, 2014 I agree that in some situations, jumping into a full 180 will do more harm than good. Problem is if you are the spouse getting dumped, you're usually the more spineless one who will cry and beg for your other spouse to come back (I know because I was). So the 180 is probably not put into use enough because of that (the spouse in moments of weakness wants to keep giving more). Overall I think the 180 can be modified to different situations. It just depends on what people want the ultimate goal to be. In my case, based on my STBXW's personality, the 180 would never have led to any kind of attempt at reconciliation. She would have drifted further away. Which maybe should have been the point in the first place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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