yorkie Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Hello everyone and happy new year! not that i feel happy at the moment! i need some advice from the uk folk on here and if there is a family specialist advisor solicitor reading i could really do with your help! short version: me and ex split on 30th august 2013. she went back to her mum n dads and left me in the house with my two beautiful kids 11 and 7. because i have a 3 bedroom house and this is the kids home and there schools are a stone's throw away from where we live. it was a bad breakup and i cried, begged and all that rubbish for say 3 months! we are both now seeing different people which is fine, except my gf isnt moving into my house she has her own house. my ex is planning on moving into the area with her new fella which yes im not really happy with but i cant dictate where she lives. at first we agreed that when she gets her place we would have 50/50 custody. now though i do not think it will work. and i want my kids living here with me during the week as i am worried about there wellbeing and there schooling i dont feel it would be beneficial for my kids to move in with my ex as her new relationship, and moving into a new house will benefit my children. i have looked after my kids since she left in my house and its there home. also even though my ex will disagree with me i feel she only wants the kids for financial gain as this will help her with her finances to help her find a private rented property. i have never stopped her from seeing the kids and in fact have tried to get her to see the kids more often she does help with the school run on an afternoon and brings the kids home for 6pm. we are going to mediation as she also wants some of the furniture which yes she paid for out of her inheritance but we were in a long term relationship 12 n half years or 13 years roughly. i paid all the bills since we were together. things have turned really nasty and i feel she is rushing to move in with her new fella as she doesnt feel comfortable being at her mum n dads i am 33 she is 28 she has only been seeing this guy so she says for 4 weeks, and i feel that come march time when her new fella has to leave his current home they will get a place together and i personally feel that is to soon to even contemplate having my kids move in with her new relationship. i need some advice from others that have recently gone through this situation themselves. many thanks guys hope i get a few replies this is very stressful and im sure that many people have gone through this but i feel being the dad and not having family around me i am on my own. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yorkie Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 wow this is so streeful it hurts! it hurts so badly Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Are you familiar with the Citizen's Advice Bureau? They have volunteers who are far more versed in matters of UK law than this predominantly US member relationship site. Donations are accepted but the advice and assistance is generally free. Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 I'm in the UK and have a small amount of experience in family issues, but I'm not entirely sure what your question is? One thing I will say though - unless you were married to her, you have NO assumed parental rights to the children unless you signed the birth register, and only for the child born after 2003. You will have to go to court to establish your rights, unlike a married father. You should also be aware that there is no such thing as a common law husband or wife in UK law. So you won't have the same separation rights or division of assets. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yorkie Posted January 3, 2014 Author Share Posted January 3, 2014 hi thanks for your replies, i have parental responsibility for both children as my daughter was born after 2003 and my ex signed paper for consent for my eldest. basically the question i want to ask is how do i apply for a resident order and do fathers get rights to keep there kids? i want my kids to have a good relationship with there mother but her aim is to have 50/50 resposibility which i am not happy with i want my children to reside in the family home like they have been doing since she left. is there any advice lines i can phone in the uk to get free legal advice does anyone know? Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted January 3, 2014 Share Posted January 3, 2014 Look into getting Legal Aid. The first 30 minutes with a participating solicitor should be free, then you can apply for LA for after that. Look on Yell.com for family law solicitors. Your kids are older, so their wishes will be taken into account too. Remember though, the courts won't be interested in what you or your ex want, they will only take into account the best interests of the children. If it's better for them that they have the stability of the same school, they'll probably stay with you. You're in a good position because they're already with you. But if she finds a home close by, there's no reason why they shouldn't live 50/50 if they can go to the same school. The courts will want to ensure they maintain a relationship with both parents as equally as possible. Your desire to keep them most of the time is unlikely to influence their decision. Link to post Share on other sites
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