acbgdb Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Ok here is my story I have been happily married to my wife for 8 years now and before that we date 3 years. We did split up about 5 years ago because she cheated on me. I forgave and forgot that situation but here I have another dilemma. We have two very small children (4 & 2) and when we lived in Charleston she stayed home with them all day long. This has stressed her out I know it had to. We had no family and friends down there to maybe watch them to give us a break. I asked her many times to maybe get a job and she didn't want to. But anyway my job went away and we were faced with the dilemma of moving back to NC, we made the decision to move back. In March her father passed away (this was before we moved back) so we decided to stay with her mother for a short while to help her cope with the death. She was 16 when I met her and 19 when we got married, she was a virgin and never really dated anyone except me. I love her very much and do want her back but she tells me it is definitely over and there is no chance of us getting back together. This all started in Charleston when I found her chatting on the internet with some guy. I asked her to please stop and it got worse. Now that we live back here in NC she has family to take care of her. She is now talking to more guys on the internet and wants nothing to do with me. As far as her reasons she only tells me that she is not happy and is tired of having to answer for everything she does. That reason comes from all the internet chat rooms. I would not be concerned with this except I was laying in the bed one night and heard her on my laptop and looked over and she was talking dirty to some guy (she is not that type of person), she is very shy and does not start the conversation. She is now asking me how much money I want to give her for my children every week. I know there are people out there that have endured this so please read over this and give me a little advice. I do appreciate the help. Link to post Share on other sites
rogueless Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Sounds like you may be headed for divorce. If I were you, I would get as much documentation of her online behaviors as possible. Print out and hide this information at work. If she is more concerned with chatting filthy online than with taking care of her spouse and children, I would seek custody of the kids. If she spends an extensive amount of time online, save this info. It can prove neglect of the children. Do not confront her about this before you have all your evidence collected and hidden. You can raise those kids. What you would have spent on child support each week can be used on daycare. Let her pay YOU child suuport. She wants out, not you. If your marriage can not be salvaged, you need to be ready. Link to post Share on other sites
Author acbgdb Posted August 8, 2004 Author Share Posted August 8, 2004 I cannot put together all the information off the internet due to her computer being with her. If you or someone knows how I might be able to do this please let me know. I do NOT want a divorce I think that we could work this out if she would just try. I know I know if she dont love me I cannot make her. Link to post Share on other sites
rogueless Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 Yes, there is a program where you can monitor and save every keystroke she makes. She will not know its on her computer and it can be installed simply. You send her an email and when she opens it, it secretly downloads the program. I hope you guys can work it out. But if she decides to leave you, it would be very helpful to have documentation. You two could probably come to an agreement settled outside the courtroom to keep her dirty laundry from being aired. I think its call spyware. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted August 8, 2004 Share Posted August 8, 2004 As far as her reasons she only tells me that she is not happy and is tired of having to answer for everything she does. That reason comes from all the internet chat rooms. Wrong. The chat rooms are not the cause, they are the result of her lack of interest in talking to you. I would not be concerned with this except I was laying in the bed one night and heard her on my laptop and looked over and she was talking dirty to some guy (she is not that type of person), she is very shy and does not start the conversation. Apparently you really don't know her all that well. She is obviously the "type of person that likes to "talk dirty." She is now asking me how much money I want to give her for my children every week. I know there are people out there that have endured this so please read over this and give me a little advice. I do appreciate the help Sounds like some sort of counselling (probably to late, but she'll go to appease you) might have a small chance of success. How much child support she receives in divorce is probably mandated in state law, and she may also receive spousal support in addition. Here's a cheaper idea: begin writing her dirty notes and emailing them to her under a pen name from a yahoo email address. Eventually, offer to meet her in some cheap hotel for some kinky sex. Love to see the look on her face when you show up! Link to post Share on other sites
Author acbgdb Posted August 9, 2004 Author Share Posted August 9, 2004 I know that the chat rooms is not the problem but just a symptom. This is just what I am seeing since she is very shy and keeps all her problems to herself instead of talking to me. Anything that has bothered her she keeps bottled up inside. As for the going to a counselor she said "NO" of course this may be because she does not talk that much. I talked with her sisters husband today and asked him what he knows of course his response was that he don't know much but he did say that she said it was over for good between us and that she just didn't want to be married anymore. That sucks. Has anyone ever heard that before and if so what happened? Thanks for all the responses they are good advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Samson Posted August 9, 2004 Share Posted August 9, 2004 she just didn't want to be married anymore. That sucks. Has anyone ever heard that before and if so what happened? HAVE I EVER HEARD THIS BEFORE?????????????? Well, Maybe once or twice. You though there was some lifetime guarantee?? Sorry, but, but at best its a crap-shhot offering 50:50 odds. But losing isn't end of the world. Cut your loses: Get out early and get on with your life. And don't make the same mistake twice. Link to post Share on other sites
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