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He ended it but still stays with me, am I right for allowing it to go on like this??


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michie11220

This past Monday, my fiance of 7 years told me that it was overand wants to be by himself. He claims he's not sure if this will be temporary or for good. He claims a couple of petty reasons why, I just don't find them legit reasons for just throwing away all these years together. We are both in our upper 20's.

 

We have been together for 7 years(which we lived together for just about that long), and we have a 3 year old child involved as well. He claims that I could stay in the apartment and he'll leave but he stays there anyway.

 

He told me I was his best friend and that he loves me, and he stays at the apartment with us. We hang out, I cook, clean, take care of him, we still even have sex! It's basically as if we are the same the only difference is I am just labeled his "friend". I'm scared to mention it to him because I love the fact that he's still there with us as a family. I'm scared he'll leave altogether.

 

My friends and family are telling me that I am just torturing myself by allowing this to happen and that I am holding onto this empty hope that we will be together again. They feel that I shouldn't stay there anymore and just move on, but who just throws all those years away without fighting to save what they have!!

 

I love this man with all of my heart and soul and cannot imagine him not being there with me. The tears are yet to stop flowing, when we're at home we lay in bed and he holds me and I cry telling him how can he hurt me like that and asking why. He comforts me and sometimes cries with me so I know he still loves me and didn't just fall out of love with me overnight.

 

Please help me figure this all out!!! Do I leave or do I stay?? What should I do??

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StartingAgain

Listen to your friends and family. Do not do this to yourself and don't let him use you in this way. In reality, the two of you are married, since you have a child together. No more sex, while he's behaving this way. Tell him you won't be his wet hole. Pack his clothes and when he comes in, tell him he has a choice to make. Either the two of you get into couples therapy and get your relationship back on track, or he gets the hell out. Maybe if he has to go out an live on his own with out the benefit of a woman who loves him and takes care of him, he will grow up a little. He surely won't as long as you make it possible for him to play this silly game.

 

If he decides to walk, contact a lawyer. You may be married by common law in your state. If so, you should sue him for divorce. He certainly must support his child.

 

Some men make me ashamed of my sex!

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