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"I am done"


shattered Inside

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shattered Inside

Hi,

I am a 38 year old man, been married for almost 10 years now.Its sad that standing on the verge of a separation(divorce).We have a 7 year old son and our relationship is bitter than anyone could imagine..

My wife is an alcoholic and above all unfaithful too.She filled a divorce way back almost 5 years when she fall in love with another man.My son was of two at that time .It came as a shock to me .I tried my best to stop her even begged but all were in vain.She filled and on her approval of leaving my son with me i signed the papers.We had to wait for six months time as per courts instruction But than after staying with that that man for six months she decided to come back(the reason given was "that she can't live without the son" )whereas in actual the reason was the man got married to another women..But than i desperately wanted her to back so i gracefully accepted her come back but after that too she again involved with the man and on intervention she stopped(don't know in actual too).But i kept quite and keep on moving thought that one fine day she will realize the value but than she got no change .Lately she has been drinking heavily and find out doing things which are hard to believe..

so filled a mutual divorce petition yesterday and the next date was given for next month's 11.The judge wants a fixed deposit in name of my son which i will do without a doubt.The legal custody will be with me and she will have the visiting rights .My problem is that i am the one who will now have to take care of my Son .My father is very aged and everyone is trying to save this dead relationship because of a kid but i am in lot of pain and shattered inside.I can't take it any more .Please advice what should i do in such situation

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I don't know the answer so I can't advise.. but only you can really answer this.. what is best for your son? To see two people completely miserable but living together for only his sake (and later in life he may blame himself etc)...or two people who can still be parents..but trying to find happiness on their own and not being shackled down for his sake?

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shattered Inside

Yes,You are absolutely right.We are living a miserable life for his sake and above all in front of him.He understands everything.Runs to his grandfather room when we argue .So not giving him much of a good..Its really a hard time i am going through.The partner is hardly bothered drinking and finding new excuses to drink more and to be out.My heart cries in repentance that why did i got marry her .how did i fell in love with such human being?I don't think God will spare her for this sin .I really hate her ?she not only ruined my life but many others too along with this little angel :(

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Let her go. She's making her own decisions, so she will have to deal with the consequences on her end. Take care of your son. Decide what would be best for him and do whatever that is. He is more important than her, or even you. You know that.

 

It's probably best that he not be raised by a drinker, so it's all on you now. Don't worry. It's easier taking care of just a kid than it is to take care of a kid AND an alcoholic. The alcoholic takes more work by far.

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shattered Inside

Thanks a lot .you are absolutely right.I get more disciplined when she stays out for couple of days.I share a beautiful relationship with my son. Even today in the morning i got up at 6.00 made him ready to go to school.Otherwise i am a very lethargic by nature and even my work is bit of that Kind .I have a established shop on eBay where i sell vintage watches .So most of the times i stay back home don't involve much of a outside activity but the best part is that i can always decide the hours of my working so that ways i am bit more independent and have more time to be with my son and to take care of his things .

 

Its a wonderful place to be at.I thank God that finally i find some place to share my heart out without knowing and disclosing who i am.Please do suggest me some books or literature which could further help me raising my son in healthy environment

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