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My ex-wife calling my current wife names......


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Old 24th April 2004, 3:00 PM   #1
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My ex-wife calling my current wife names......

Hi all. I am new here. Had a little bit of an experience yesterday. Not quite sure what to do now. I went to pick up my children at my ex wife's work and my wife was waiting in the car. She was actually making fun of my wife right in front of me. All she could say when I asked her not to do that is "well you said bad stuff about owen" (Owen is her 50 year old boyfriend that she was cheating on me with). I admit that yea I did say things about him, but she and I were still married at the time. So what do I do in this situation?
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Old 24th April 2004, 3:10 PM   #2
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yikes!

Your ex wife is obviously a catty, revengeful rat-bag. If she can't see the difference between the situation of your calling her "lover" names (the guy she was horsing around with WHILE you were married), and her need to call your current wife names, then she's as dumb as a post. Obviously has issues. Try not to let it get to you.

I do hope,however, that she didn't bash your wife in front of your children ???? Or so that your wife could hear?

In the future, if she pulls this immature crap again, don't even give her the satisfaction of a reaction. She's likely just looking to get your goat and get a rise out of you. Don't give her what she seeks. She obviously knows it's inappropriate and wrong for her to do this, so telling her as much is really very pointless. Just keep your conversation STRICTLY to that of matters concerning your children..and anything else she has to say, just do your best to ignore her.

Seems obvious that she's jealous of the fact that you remarried...and feels somehow threatened by your new wife. She likely now realizes what a good thing she had with you, and is resentful of the fact that you "moved on" and went on to make a good life without her sorry arse.

Don't stoop to her level. Don't say things that will set her off even more (like, "well my wife is better than you ever were", etc). Don't even waste your breath telling her how tacky she's being. Don't bother defending your wife to her. Just ignore her. She's just trying to upset you. Try not to let her do that, especially when you're there to pick up your children.
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Old 24th April 2004, 3:25 PM   #3
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She was cheating with this Owen guy while you were married, I'd think you can say as much bad stuff about him as you like. However that can't be good for your marriage to continually open such a greivous wound and you two are still together so I imagine you've moved beyond that and patched things up? Sounds to me like the affair may have been recent?

Is this the first time she's commented like this on your ex-wife? My response at the time would have been something like, "okay - are we even now then?". But honesty, I think it's extremely crass that she even brings his name up. More importantly you need to be concerned about your children. Under no circumstances should she be making negative comments about their mother if there is even the slightest risk that they may overhear.

There are lots of people on this site who have had adulterous partners - hopefully some of them will comment and share their experiences with you.
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Old 24th April 2004, 3:27 PM   #4
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befuddled - it his WIFE that's saying these thing about his EX - you got it the wrong way around
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Old 24th April 2004, 4:42 PM   #5
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Bluechocolate - wrongo.

"She was actually making fun of my wife right in front of me"

The EX is making fun of the current wife.
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Old 24th April 2004, 5:17 PM   #6
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yikes! & double yikes! - sorry befuddled & bmfw - thanks moi
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Old 24th April 2004, 7:04 PM   #7
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thank you very much for the replies. I try not to say anything at all, but sometimes it is difficult.
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Old 25th April 2004, 5:11 PM   #8
 
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What a biotch. I see two options for when the ex-wife insults your wife. The first is the quick and dirty, feel-good version. The second is the mature adult version. Take your pick, or use them both interchangeably.

1) Say to her, "at least she's not a lying cheating slut like you."

2) When you're in her presence, tell her that you're not speaking to her or acknowledging her existence when she does that, until she apologizes for saying it. If you're on the phone with her, hang up. When she calls back, tell her the conversation will not continue until she apologizes. In either case, if she refuses to apologize, leave/hang up. Do not resume contact until she apologizes. Force her to dance to your tune for a change.
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Old 25th April 2004, 5:27 PM   #9
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I think either of the above suggestions would be appropriate. What a vile, nasty woman your ex is. Does she have custody of your children? I shudder to think what kind of role model she is... I mean, people make mistakes, fall out of love, fine. But to bad-mouth a person who has done nothing to you -- what's up with that? Sounds like a bitter, nasty woman. It must be frustrating to have to deal with someone like her, but look on the bright side -- at least you're no longer married to her!
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Old 29th April 2004, 7:01 PM   #10
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I could tell you guys stories about this woman that would make your head spin. She wrote $900 worth of bad checks and hid the over draft notices under the seat of the van. She got the house and the debt that goes with it in the divorce, but decided to let it go back before I could get my name off of it. And she cheated on me with a man thats twice her age. There's more, but its way too much to type.
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