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Ex wife destroyed the family


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My now ex wife of 7 months has really caused some damage with me and my boys. We were married for 23 yrs and in those years see has cheated on me on a couple of occasions. I tried hard to keep our family together but 2 1/2 yrs ago when my oldest son and I came home from work, she was gone with my other two kids which were 18 and 12 at the time. She says that I am too controlling and that she loved me but was not in love with me. I was crushed. My 18 yr old was not happy with the situation and I bought him a ticket to come home. I later went flew out to visit them and everything was okay so I thought. My ex wife and my youngest son stayed at a hotel and spent time with each other. I flew back out there two months after that and my ex wife did not want to stay with me and was acting strange and I stayed in a Hotel with my son. We still all would hang out with each other and all. After I left, two days later she called my 18 yr old and told him that she was in New York and was with her friend and told my son his name. I was livid and made the mistake of going off on her thru text. Her reply to me was "who are you, and you cant judge me only God can". I told her that under no circumstances will my son continue to stay out there with her and that he will be staying with me.

I met up with a lawyer and started the begining steps for filing for a divorce which she agreed. After contacting her and letting her know of the stipulations that we agreed to, we ended up talking and the next day we agreed to try and patch things up.

 

She came home and I was trying to do everything in my power to show her that things would be okay and that I loved her and our family deeply. I started noticing her keeping her phone on her side and would jump if anybody walked in on her while she was on the phone.

 

One night we were talking and she just starts crying and all and I was trying to console her. I walked out and when I came back in she was pouring pills down her mouth, which I knocked out of her hand and started taking them out of her mouth. The next day I found her at the park in 105

degree whether with no shade and she was about to fall out. I quickly got her home and showered her. The next day on my way to work I turned back around because I was afraid she would kill herself and I took her to the hospital, which they kept her there for 72 hrs.

 

Two weeks later she was gone. This time abandoning me and the kids. My kids were histerical.

 

Come to find out she left us for the same dude that she had met.

 

I took a job in Washington and moved with my two boys. My oldest boy stayed in California. After finding a place, a week later divorce papers came in after she led us all on that she was going to join us. She used me for my resources during this period.

 

Now she is heavily involved with this guy, and I admit it took a toll on me but I am now feeling a lot better once I started NC. She calls the kids almost everyday, but she barely does anything in regards to support for my youngest son.

 

Her newest ploy is now she is trying to have her boyfriend talk to my son on the phone which is upseting him big time. I believe they are gonna get married, which is fine but my kids want nothing to do with this guy. I have not responded to this new action by her because I am tired of her mess. I don't know what to do, but I am concerned for my 15 yr old sons reaction to all of this.

 

I have told my boys to always love their mom regardless and I have explained my side of the story of things that went wrong, which all three of them understand what is up now. I am just tired and want to move forward. It is still very tough. She is TOXIC.

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2.50 a gallon

Toxic and worthless!

 

She is gone and let her stay gone!

 

Man up!

 

Do not let the OM have any contact with your son!

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I'm sorry for your pain.

 

You're clearly better off without this in your life. Really, count your blessings. If you want me to start you off...

 

1. You've got your kids with you.

2. She's gone.

3. There's no hidden information, you know the truth.

4. .... (just keep adding your own)

 

Stay strong. Of course you're tired - this is exhausting stuff. Rest yourself too. You didn't do any of this.

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Unfortunately I have been a doormat. In the 23 yrs of our marriage, collectively she has worked about 6 yrs of them. I have pulled the load all of those yrs only to be discarded like I was nothing. Doormat???? I say yes. I feel awful about walking into the house and finding my son fuming over my ex wife putting this guy on the phone to talk to him. She has not seen her kids in two yrs and now she is trying to force the guy that she left us for down my sons throat. I am stuck. I am glad she is on the other side of the country. I just want me back, I guess that is what I am getting at.

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Here's the thing...why SHOULD the kids show her any concern after the way that she's treated them?

 

She LEFT them so that she could be with another man.

 

There's no way in heck they're going to respect her after that. And there's no reason in the world why your son should "have to" talk to this other man on the phone...

 

File for divorce...and file for sole custody of your son who is under 18. Cite her for abandonment and as an unfit parent...and remove this creature from your lives.

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