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child support and depriving child ?


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ridinbikes247

I have been seperated for 5 weeks now. My wife and I had always decided every other weekend and EVERY Wed. I will get our son - We ALWAYS agreed I would pay his Daycare - $320 a month and stay out of courts if anything ever happend.

Well, we bought a house 6 months ago and I paid her car off. Now, all of a sudden she has "Grass is Greener Syndrome" and said she likes her friends more than me - I packed my things and left. Everything was fine UNTIL tonight - My parents were watching him this week, because our nanny had surgery. She came and got him after work and would not answer my phone call for 1 hour as to why she got him. She finally called back and said I will give him back friday night. She says I will only get my kid when it is resonable for her to give him to me. Then she wants $450-$500 for child support - which is what the house payment is..She said I will be depriving my child if I can not pay the house mortgage, for his child support.

I believe it's time for me to lawyer up and fight for joint custody ? Is it wrong to fight ? She is once again saying I'm the bad guy and I should let my son live with her full time, and I should pay the house payment so they have a roof over there head. ??? I dont think I should pay for the house, for her to go out and have a good time and throw parties in OUR home... I am so stressed right now

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Yeah it never hurts to talk to a lawyer. Do it tomorrow. Fighting is what will happen I fear, so it's best for the child that this all gets hammered out as soon as possible.

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I was in a similar situation as you are currently are in. My advise to you, especially with her already changing her tune on you, is to have it handled via the court system when it comes to visitation & support. Whatever monies that you are giving her now will not count in court. It will show goodwill on your part but do not be surprised if CS is retroactive to cover that period that you were giving her money. CS will be calculated based on your both your incomes.

 

Take a fool's advise and consult a lawyer like yesterday, also brace yourself for one bumpy ride. I hope it does not come to this, but if it has to, and reading from your post, you'd rather deal with this sooner rather than later so that you can get used to your new reality. The storm is coming. All the best!

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ridinbikes247

I am meeting a lawyer tomorrow hopefully. So far, I was advised in printing out the North Carolina child support work sheet - According to it, I should be paying $400 as of right now. If she agrees on joint custody - 50/50, I will pay her $230.

I understand she may lose the house, but she is the one who wants to be single and mingle. I shouldnt suffer and pay her house payment so she can have her cake and eat it too. If she can come take my son while I'm at work and ignore me for an hour as to why she took him, then so be it. Nothing is harder than hereing my 4 year old son on the phone SCREAMING saying "I want to wait on daddy to get home, I want to tell him bye" and I heard my Ex in the background just say "Jake, lets go bye bye now"

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I know exactly what you mean. In my situation, my only regret is that I did not do it sooner despite the advise that I got.

 

You will get used to it. If it comes to the custody agreement, make sure you protect your son & yourself without any fear or favor. This will be purely a business transaction in your son's & your best interest. It will be hard to separate the emotions that you feel for your soon to be ex and what needs to be accomplished. The reason I say this is that it will save you a lot in attorney fees in the long run.

 

Be civil to your soon to be ex, do not argue with her. It will keep stuff civil & she will respect you more, hard as it is to believe- BE DECISIVE. Let the attorneys handle it. Run silent & run deep. You will appreciate & even treasure the moments that you spend with your son more than ever.

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Just remember, The extra money on a very good lawyer will pay its self over 20x in the future.

 

Make sure everything is ironclad and if paying a bit extra to ensure you recieve more of your child is an investment worth paying. Childhood is precious and she is clearly a raging bitch.

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ridinbikes247

Well, I seen a lawyer and its pretty expensive- She is fighting for my rights and is wanting to go after an affair that she thinks my EX is having. She has done divorce settlements for 18 years and she knows my story - wife distants herself, wife starts going out with single friends, wife started working out after new years, the big bonb I never wanted to admit - she got on birth control a week after we split up....I am depressed right now... heres what happend

I havent been on my wifes facebook since I left Feb17th. Yesterday in the lawyers office we got on her page,. I had a mutal friend give me his password. 9 days after I left she added a guy who is 26. After looking around, we found a picture of her at the club with her friends. she has the picture set to private, but I somehow found out. That guy commented on it march 3rd and said "You look familiar ;)"

She replied "I am unforgettable"

thats the only 2 post on that picture ... i am devastated . our boy is 4 years old and tonight after 7 weeks of being split he said "mommy still likes you daddy, you can go home".. i tried so hard to hold back the tears... what do I say ????

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