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Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

Old 13th October 2011, 2:18 PM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 749
Absolute

D day yesterday. Had a terrible day on Tuesday as STBXH took proceedings right to the wire and I fell apart all over again but I got up yesterday determined to see it thru to the bitter end- just had to think of my daughter's white face as I constantly had to drop her off at silly o'clock at a friends's house for the school run whilst OW's daughter travelled in comfort in STBXH's car to and from school.
2 of my adult sons came with me. I hadn't seen the STBXH for 2 years and neither had our sons.
He looked like a trainwreck.
Cutting to the chase I was awarded the pension share that was fair and he has had to pick up the court costs- when you add up the financial cost it makes me wonder why he wouldn't attend mediation.
My daughter asked "if I had won."
As I explained to her there are no winners in divorce.
Overwhelming feelings- sadness that it came to this and pity for the sorry state he appears to be in.
For someone who wanted a new life without responsibility he doesn't look great and now appears to be raising her family-some change huh?
If you are thinking of messing about whilst still married do everyone including yourself a favour, sign out the primary relationship first.
Too upset to post anymore.
worlybear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 13th October 2011, 2:36 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 6,111
Quote:
Originally Posted by worlybear View Post
D day yesterday. Had a terrible day on Tuesday as STBXH took proceedings right to the wire and I fell apart all over again but I got up yesterday determined to see it thru to the bitter end- just had to think of my daughter's white face as I constantly had to drop her off at silly o'clock at a friends's house for the school run whilst OW's daughter travelled in comfort in STBXH's car to and from school.
2 of my adult sons came with me. I hadn't seen the STBXH for 2 years and neither had our sons.
He looked like a trainwreck.
Cutting to the chase I was awarded the pension share that was fair and he has had to pick up the court costs- when you add up the financial cost it makes me wonder why he wouldn't attend mediation.
My daughter asked "if I had won."
As I explained to her there are no winners in divorce.
Overwhelming feelings- sadness that it came to this and pity for the sorry state he appears to be in.
For someone who wanted a new life without responsibility he doesn't look great and now appears to be raising her family-some change huh?
If you are thinking of messing about whilst still married do everyone including yourself a favour, sign out the primary relationship first.
Too upset to post anymore.
With regard to the bolded statement, I'd just like to say to people, if you are thinking about messing around while married, get MC, because the damage done to your family, yourself and your paramour is too much to be worth it, and cannot be undone once you go down that path. If you still intend to do it, then do everyone a favor and separate beforehand. Way too painful for all concerned if you start something while still together with your wife. Anything less is so unfair to your wife and kids, as well as the paramour. And to the OP, I'm sorry you were treated so badly.
KathyM is offline   Reply With Quote
 

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