Lester Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 If anyone has read my posts from the past they will know that I have now been separated from my wife of 20 years. We went to our first councelling session 3 weeks ago and I was told to not talk to her nor have anything to do with her. The doctor needed to work on her first and she never set up another visit for me. Now my wife has gone a second time and will be going again next week. We have a 14 year old son who has moved back in with me and while this does help it doesnt make me whole. I want my entire family together. The problem I have is the fact of not knowing. I dont know what goes on at the doctors, what they are discussing, what if any goals the doc has set for my wife, what my wife is feeling nor what direction she is leaning. I can not ask any questions to my wife as they might drive her farther away. She wouldnt answer them anyways I feel so totally left out of the fight to save my marriage. Its as if I have been shoved to the wayside and forgotten. Everyday is pure hell because of the worry. When I do talk to my wife, which we have to at times because of my son and our business, I try to clasp on to any bit of information I can however small it may be. I have never been so lost in my life and I have never depended on someone else to take care of my problems without me having a role in it The doc said this could take 6 or more months to work out and there are no guarantees. I dont believe I can continue this torture much longer. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted October 26, 2003 Share Posted October 26, 2003 The doctor needed to work on her first and she never set up another visit for me This doesn't make sense to me. Would she give you an explanation why? I can see that she would want to work with you each individually, but why she would need to schedule you after she's done with your wife is beyond me. I'd demand an explanation. I'd also call the local APA and ask whether your therapist should treat you this way. Something sounds fishy here but maybe it is a standard way to do therapy. It's worth it to make inquiries and be sure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lester Posted October 26, 2003 Author Share Posted October 26, 2003 She said she needed to work with the wife first as she was at a very critical point before she got us both together again. She asked us when we first seen her on a scale of 1 to 10 how would you rate your committment to save your marriage. I said 10. My wife said "I dont know. I dont really have any feelings just numb" Maybe the fact that I am so willing might be why she is not seeing me. Link to post Share on other sites
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