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She filled finally, but sound partly unsure


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Ok a few weeks ago i posted a topic about why hasn't my wife filed for divorce. She was being overly nice about our children and wanting to talk to me about them and how well their doing in school. She also was talking occasionally about the old times we had together.

 

The last time she did this she took me to court for child support and got it with a major battle. With how nice she was last time i figured that a divorce filing was most like the reason why. I searched the cc website and saw the that she did file. With this I contacted my lawyer and let them know and they told me to wait until I'm served. Just contact her to have her lawyer contact my lawyer with all the terms and will negotiate if possible.

 

Upon contacting her I asked her to do this for me. She immediately began telling me the reasons why she was doing this, I didn't ask. The main one was because I used her words that she used 7 month previously that she doesn't remember using. They were, if another person came to me looking for a date or relationship I wouldn't necessarily say no. I'm not looking for it but I can't tell you what the future holds.

 

After the bs and counter points she said when she finds herself and if she realises she made a mistake that she'd beg me for my forgiveness and only hope that I didn't move on. I told her then why are you filing for divorce! She didn't respond and was trying to hold back the crying. The conversation ended we me telling her if she filled this divorce it's done for ever. She said fine and I countered then well good luck and I'll see you at the court date.

 

Everyone I talked to is telling me she is a train wreck inside pretending to be someone she is not. A few friends told me who've been through this process said she may be seriously depressed or bipolar and doesn't realise what shes actually doing and once its over she may get worse and harm herself. Further more she even talked about going to marriage counseling in the future after the divorce when she figures out whats wrong.

 

I feel its her blowing smoke up my rear and/or its just guilt on her part, but others don't. I don't know what to do on this one.

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Ok a few weeks ago i posted a topic about why hasn't my wife filed for divorce. She was being overly nice about our children and wanting to talk to me about them and how well their doing in school. She also was talking occasionally about the old times we had together.

 

The last time she did this she took me to court for child support and got it with a major battle. With how nice she was last time i figured that a divorce filing was most like the reason why. I searched the cc website and saw the that she did file. With this I contacted my lawyer and let them know and they told me to wait until I'm served. Just contact her to have her lawyer contact my lawyer with all the terms and will negotiate if possible.

 

Upon contacting her I asked her to do this for me. She immediately began telling me the reasons why she was doing this, I didn't ask. The main one was because I used her words that she used 7 month previously that she doesn't remember using. They were, if another person came to me looking for a date or relationship I wouldn't necessarily say no. I'm not looking for it but I can't tell you what the future holds.

 

After the bs and counter points she said when she finds herself and if she realises she made a mistake that she'd beg me for my forgiveness and only hope that I didn't move on. I told her then why are you filing for divorce! She didn't respond and was trying to hold back the crying. The conversation ended we me telling her if she filled this divorce it's done for ever. She said fine and I countered then well good luck and I'll see you at the court date.

 

Everyone I talked to is telling me she is a train wreck inside pretending to be someone she is not. A few friends told me who've been through this process said she may be seriously depressed or bipolar and doesn't realise what shes actually doing and once its over she may get worse and harm herself. Further more she even talked about going to marriage counseling in the future after the divorce when she figures out whats wrong.

 

I feel its her blowing smoke up my rear and/or its just guilt on her part, but others don't. I don't know what to do on this one.

 

Sounds like she's guilty of seeing someone else, since she said she really wouldn't pass up the offer if someone hit on her.:o

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she's playing you. playing nicey,nice so you won't stick up for your rights in divorce! This is "war", not time for playing along with her games.

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Divorce need NOT be war. What it can be is a finalization on a realistic level for the parties who are involved. Emotions aside its an opportunity to be fair and demonstrate adult maturity.

 

I must say the female spouse is bouncing to extremes and will create a complicated divorce. IF there is any way to forestall this til her wits are fairly stable I would recommend that.

 

Get past the "maybe we can work it out stage for the sake of the kids or marriage" Its not there for you both. Its time to gently end it and accept that its met its end.

 

She is the one that filed, its your place to show regard and sign off on it. She need not play anymore head games or heart games. It is time to dissolve and rebuild a new life. Counseling "after the divorce" is often suggested to cope with the life changing circumstance.

 

Above all, Protect yourself by creating the emotional distance to do what is right in the long run.

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