QuiteConfound Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I married my high school sweetheart. I was a freshman, he was a senior. He joined the military and was stationed in California (the other side of the country) so the 3 years in high school we were dating was long distance so there wasn't really much of a chance to really get to know each other. We married when I was 18. He now is out of the military and I joined. I've always had my doubts about our relationship but not so much that I was really concerned. But in only 2 years I see how much I've changed and I've really got to know my husband and I feel like we're on two separate pages. We're coming up on our 2 yr anniversary now. We have been living together for about a year. I love him just as I love my closest friends but I don't feel in love with him. I feel like he is not the person I want to be married to. I have no emotional, or physical connection with him. As much as I try to explain and work things out it always ends up in an argument of some sort (some so bad I felt sick afterwards). On rare occasions talking seems to work shortly then everything returns to normal. I don't really feel satisfied with any aspect of our marriage. I took his virginity and thought that we could learn together so I looked past the intimacy issues. I am never satisfied. At my attempts to work this out he gets frustrated and actually quits trying all together. Now I am not sexually attracted to him at all. Sometimes even repulsed and I feel awful for that. I feel like I can't talk to him. Even making small talk is difficult. He is so distracted by TV and his laptop. I'm skeptical about counseling since I feel like I was just too young and we're not compatible. I don't want to learn to love and feel attracted to him. I've thought about separation and the big D before but trying to explain feeling and thoughts always ended up in an argument where in the end I felt bad for even have considering. Of course divorce is the last resort. But having issues before even getting married (I wish I wasn't so hard headed 2 years ago) makes me feel like I just made a huge mistake. I don't want to keep this cycle going and having felt like I didn't give myself a chance to enjoy life. I've tried talking to him before which leads to arguments and I just end up more upset, confused and frustrated. I just don't know how to go about talking to him about this again and managing my thoughts and feelings throughout the whole process. I'm exhausted with the whole thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Soxfaninfl Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I would try marriage counseling first before you give up. Obviously you have been neglected, and he has intimacy issuses. Your communication is also very bad. I would also try books to help improve the relationship, and he read them also. What shocks me is that your repulse by him. Did he gain alot of weight? Link to post Share on other sites
robf1971 Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 I love him just as I love my closest friends but I don't feel in love with him. Uh ohh, Alarm bell ring. C'mon be honest is there someone else you are interested in? Link to post Share on other sites
hopesndreams Posted February 5, 2011 Share Posted February 5, 2011 Uh ohh, Alarm bell ring. C'mon be honest is there someone else you are interested in? Those were my thoughts too. Only 2 years together and those little butterflies have flew away and now it's onto a deep, emotional love connection that you are incapable of so you blame him and say marrying him was a "mistake". Good thing there aren't any children. Link to post Share on other sites
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