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I am looking for some way to take hold of me long enough to really identify my needs


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TreadingWater

Without going into a bunch of details here is a quick overview...

 

I am in a marriage where I feel I have lost myself. In fact both of us do. We have decided to take a bit of time apart and regroup with what we want from our marriage. I am feeling so lost right now that i am not sure what i want anymore and am having a hard time figuring this out. I would love to find a quiz that can help me bring things back into presepective. Am I looking for the impossible, am I that lost that I do not even know what I want anymore?

 

I do not seem to know what I want myself anymore at all, let alone from a marraige. I am one that usually follows instinct, impulses and moves through life very carefree in that area. Structure is not common at all but I am by no means irresponsible, reckless or out of control. I never have bene able to put words to needs in the past but even now i am having a hard time being drivin in any real direction.

 

Sooo.....

 

I guess what I am looking for is some way to take hold of me long enough to really identify my needs. Does anyone have any places to check out online in this area? Am I rambling? I am already lost in this now....

 

eek

 

TreadingWater

 

... and not wanting to drown

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2SidestoStories

My immediate response is keep looking and lurking around here. There are so many amazing folks who give insight into things you may never necessarily have thought of that really apply.

 

Secondly, you say you both feel lost. Is this due to lack of communication? Sometimes words and actions do little to help when they're conflicting. I'm steadfastly becoming a major advocate for speaking your mind, especially when a hurt first occurs, lest ye fall into the trap of miscommunication. All those silly cliches that deal with telling the truth are most important when dealing with interpersonal relationships, at least in my experience. I've lost friends and lovers alike by not telling them what's really bothering me, even when I thought I was doing the right thing by "protecting" my significant others by not telling them what was going on.

 

Thirdly, I've found in my own situation now that spending time really allowing myself to get to know ME again has been absolutely incredible. I have recently come out of a very destructive relationship, and have been spending a great deal of time in my own head, and having to face both the good and the bad about me, and frankly, sorting through the bad has been extremely positive for me. Fortunately, I have had friends and folks around here to bounce ideas off of. That, again, goes back to my immediate response: keep looking around here if you don't feel you have the ability to reach out to anyone around you. Anonymity can make "talking" a great deal easier.

 

I wish you the best of luck in sorting through things, and remember...post away! People love to help.

 

:)

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