HopelessinDTW Posted September 27, 2010 Share Posted September 27, 2010 Hey everyone...I am in the process of figuring out child custody. I want 50/50 physical and joint custody of the kids (5&3). The temporary order had me only having the kids overnights for every other weekend, and 4-8pm every weeknight. This has gone on since July. BUT, the temporary order was never signed by the judge, for some other reason...unknown. My stbx does not want 50/50, but something much less than that for me. What is the possibility that I will get 50/50. Note there is no abuse on either side, she has kept the kids from seeing me a couple of times, but nothing major. I will be getting the marital home in a week, so that should help. I guess my question is how much will the schedule that we kept since July affect the decision by the friend of the court, or the judge is determining parenting time? How can I fight to get 50/50 physical custody? Link to post Share on other sites
lumenus Posted September 28, 2010 Share Posted September 28, 2010 Hey everyone...I am in the process of figuring out child custody. I want 50/50 physical and joint custody of the kids (5&3). The temporary order had me only having the kids overnights for every other weekend, and 4-8pm every weeknight. This has gone on since July. BUT, the temporary order was never signed by the judge, for some other reason...unknown. My stbx does not want 50/50, but something much less than that for me. What is the possibility that I will get 50/50. Note there is no abuse on either side, she has kept the kids from seeing me a couple of times, but nothing major. I will be getting the marital home in a week, so that should help. I guess my question is how much will the schedul e that we kept since July affect the decision by the friend of the court, or the judge is determining parenting time? How can I fight to get 50/50 physical custody? Most likely one of you will get "custody" of the children but you could still end up with 50% visitation. If you can show with evidence such as detailed logs/ photos/ videos that you ha een at least 50% caregiver then you have a much better chance. So document all the things you have bought for them, doctors visits, overnight stays, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
onedayatatyme Posted October 1, 2010 Share Posted October 1, 2010 What state are you in? What does your attorney say? I would guess that if the temporary orders have not been signed by a judge, you are not under any temporary orders. If it's not signed, then it's just paper. Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessinDTW Posted October 4, 2010 Author Share Posted October 4, 2010 What state are you in? What does your attorney say? I would guess that if the temporary orders have not been signed by a judge, you are not under any temporary orders. If it's not signed, then it's just paper. I'm in Michigan. Me and my stbx now need to go and meet with a social worker that works for the state, and they will interview us and make a recommendation as to parental time and custody. Not sure how they make that assessment, but my lawyer says I have a strong case for 50/50. Anyone have any experianced with this? Link to post Share on other sites
onedayatatyme Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 The Michigan process is much different than down in Texas apparently. My stbx and I ended up in front of the judge as our first step to determine temporary orders. 50/50 is not standard here. Standard here is something closer to 60/40. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 OP, like with you and your ex agreeing to you getting the marital home, if you are both healthy parents and agree on a custody arrangement which continues the children's lives with as little impact from the divorce as possible, most attornies worth a nickel, or even you representing yourselves, can make a custody agreement fly for the judge. Judge's make unilateral rulings when the parties don't agree and/or where there appears to be unfairness or acts not in the children's best interest. Just like with our MSA, agree to the specifics and have the lawyer sell it to the judge, since you're represented by counsel. If you're seeing the social worker together, and I hope you are, that's a great time to show your material agreement on the parameters of the children. If you appear as effective co-parents, what social worker would not rubber stamp what you've mutually aggreed to? They just want to get on to the next case, making sure all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed. Do you have an effective, real life, plan in place to implement 50/50 joint and legal custody? Know how it's going to work, day by day? You'll want to know it inside and out and agree to it, or whatever is amenable to both you and your ex. Have a plan. Know the plan. Sell the plan. My lawyer never shows up in court without a plan, in plain language, and I understand it completely. Judges like clear and simple, unlike what it might seem like on TV. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author HopelessinDTW Posted October 4, 2010 Author Share Posted October 4, 2010 OP, like with you and your ex agreeing to you getting the marital home, if you are both healthy parents and agree on a custody arrangement which continues the children's lives with as little impact from the divorce as possible, most attornies worth a nickel, or even you representing yourselves, can make a custody agreement fly for the judge. Judge's make unilateral rulings when the parties don't agree and/or where there appears to be unfairness or acts not in the children's best interest. Just like with our MSA, agree to the specifics and have the lawyer sell it to the judge, since you're represented by counsel. If you're seeing the social worker together, and I hope you are, that's a great time to show your material agreement on the parameters of the children. If you appear as effective co-parents, what social worker would not rubber stamp what you've mutually aggreed to? They just want to get on to the next case, making sure all the i's are dotted and t's are crossed. Do you have an effective, real life, plan in place to implement 50/50 joint and legal custody? Know how it's going to work, day by day? You'll want to know it inside and out and agree to it, or whatever is amenable to both you and your ex. Have a plan. Know the plan. Sell the plan. My lawyer never shows up in court without a plan, in plain language, and I understand it completely. Judges like clear and simple, unlike what it might seem like on TV. Good luck Well you are assuming here that she's going to agree to a 50/50...and I can tell you she isn't. But I have the kids almost every weekday in the afternoons until about an hour before they go to sleep at the stbx's place. So in terms of time with them, feeding, after school activities, appointments...I do as much if not more than her. It has been this way even before we were separated. I guess my question is will the social worker or whoever makes the evaluation see that as being a good case for me to have 50/50 overnights with the kids since that's essentially what I have now? I have worked out a week on, week off schedule that gives both of us ample time with the kids even on our off weeks. I plan on presenting this to the evaluator. I know a lot of the decisions are based on the specific case/situation. But I have also read that they automaticaly side with the mother rather than father...which really would be an injustice. I would like advice from someone who has gone through this or knows how these evaluations work. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted October 4, 2010 Share Posted October 4, 2010 Your lawyer is the best source of specific advice and strategy. We can merely provide anecdotes based on our experiences. You might have better luck asking your questions in a divorced dads forum where custody and visitation issues in contentious divorces are discussed in detail and are the focus of the forums. Try googling 'dads divorce forum'. Great resources and support. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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