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I think I would rather be alone than with someone who turns me off so much


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First, great to find this community! I am a 32 year old married mum of three. Have been married for eight years. over the past few years, my husband has had several liaisons with internet porn. The first couple of times I was devastated, and it really hurt our relationship. As we are both christians, this was something we both deep down felt was wrong for him to be doing. Recently it has happened again. But this time around I dont even care, and I think it is because I have disconnected from him so much, that it no longer hurts me. I have lost all respect for him, and definitely no longer love him. I dont want to hurt him, which I know leaving would do, but feel upset that I could be stuck in this hole of a marriage for the rest of my life. I think I would rather be alone than with someone who turns me off so much..I dont even really enjoy him as a friend anymore, and would rather be with my friends or family in spare time. Any advice would be great!

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I don't think you need any guidance at all. You seem to have your mind very clear on the plan you need to implement to get your life back on track. By your prose, I can tell your marriage is very much over. I think the only thing left to do is see an attorney and file. I don't know why you're so concerned about hurting your "husband"....he didn't seem to care so much about hurting you.

 

I'm really sad for your children but I think they deserve a lot better invironment in which to grow up. You are so over your husband and marriage it's pathetic. All there is left to do is get him out of the house...or call the mover for yourself. I have an idea your marriage has been dead for a very long time.

 

You'll be just fine.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Newbie,

Obviously your hubsband doesnt care or respect how you feel about the things he is doing behind your back. And how is it that he gets caught all the time? Does he want you to catch him? It sounds to me like he doesnt respect you or your religion if he knows and understands how it hurts both. And then to be caught for his sins and then forgiven and then to do it AGAIN? Is he a fool?

I think youre wrong. I think you are really hurting and you are putting up a front so that you dont feel the pain that he has caused you again.

If you dont "love him" as you say then why are you afraid of"hurting him"?

This guy that you are married to has a lot of learning to do and mostly about himself. He is hiding from his true self and apparently thinks that he is religious yet wont live a Christian life. You need to think for you and for your children. It would be sad if you had to break up. But you need to think about your childrens mother. You need to protect her for your children because no one else will take care of YOUR childrens mother. If he has true remorse about what he has done, then he will get the help that you want him to agree to. I think this could be resolved if he is willing to understand himself and if there is some love between the two of you still. But if not, think of you and fight for happiness and dont accept anything less! Take care, ~V

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