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My soon to be ex husband is confusing me very much


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my soon to be ex husband is confusing me very much. he tells me he wants to be with me. then he tell me he wants to be with my best friend and then he tells me he wants to be with me then he tell me he does not. then we are back together. now i want the divorce and he does not like that. my best friend is going between us. i hate this very much. i think she wants him to her self and does not like the idea that my hubby wants me. :rolleyes: there is a thing i want him but i do not want him. will someone help me or be my friend because i do not trust people anymore because of all this. thanks. :mad::(:confused:

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I don't know about you, but I consider marriage important enough that if somebody's not sure they want to be with me....they won't be. What you're going through is a lot of needless crap. Life is just way too short for that kind of aggravation.

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that will not play games with me. i am a very nice woman that been through too much in my life. he wants to be with me but i do not trust him at all. i want to move on with my life and all

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Originally posted by linaslate

i want to move on with my life and all

 

so then just do it! no sense fussing over him and your friend. where is the point in that?

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it is very hard to let go. he wants to be with me and he looks at me with these eyes and looks at me and tells me he loves me. i love him but i do not know what to do. i can not help but to love this man. we have been through it all. we can go though this but i just do not know. i love him but and i willing to forgive him for what he did to me. am i willing to move on without him? these are the questions i have been asking my self this. i kinda think i am doing the divorce is because of my best friend and me being force. i am too afraid to move on with my life. i am afraid no one will want me and i am afraid of things by myself. i am afraid of the men i will pick. i just do not know

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You need to decide in your own mind what it is that you want. Do you want to stay with him or do you want a divorce. Get counceling if you need help deciding. If you want to stay with this man then you both need to go to counceling together. It is obvious that you both have issues that need to be resolved if you want to save your marriage. If he refuses counseling then dump him and get on with your life because you'll know for sure then that he does not love you enough to save your relationship.

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Originally posted by Tony

I don't know about you, but I consider marriage important enough that if somebody's not sure they want to be with me....they won't be. What you're going through is a lot of needless crap. Life is just way too short for that kind of aggravation.

 

I don't think I agree with this. I don't know you're situation but mine is that we've been together for 17 years. My wife has left to "find herself" and "needs space". :rolleyes:

 

She says she's doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore or not, so she needs time to figure it out. So, what I'm saying is, even though she says she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore, I'm not going to let my best friend of 17 years go without a fight. I don't mean that in a negative way, I just mean, I will make the necessary changes etc, to show her I can/have changed. Hopefully she sees the positive steps and returns some day.

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he is telling me that if we go to the court date then the blood is on my hands. i love him and all there is no trust in someone that hurt my heart. he has hurt me too much to forgive him as a lover and a wife but i can forgive him as a friend. he says he can change and that i need to LEARN to forget and move on. i know i need to but i want to love this man like i did before but i do not think it will happen to me again. the love is gone because of what he did too me. i can never forgive him for what he did. DAMN i am so confused.

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Originally posted by Jake

I don't think I agree with this. I don't know you're situation but mine is that we've been together for 17 years. My wife has left to "find herself" and "needs space". :rolleyes:

 

She says she's doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore or not, so she needs time to figure it out. So, what I'm saying is, even though she says she doesn't know if she wants to be with me anymore, I'm not going to let my best friend of 17 years go without a fight. I don't mean that in a negative way, I just mean, I will make the necessary changes etc, to show her I can/have changed. Hopefully she sees the positive steps and returns some day.

 

Well, if the love is gone and you can't forgive him, then I guess you might as well leave. Sorry for your pain.

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