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feelingfine

but its not easy. This single parenting isn't all its cracked up to be! So, he chose to leave us for a younger woman...fine. Hard part is that I had to go from being the supportive wife/stay at home mom to a single working parent.

 

The only contact we have is usually via text regarding the kids or money. Ie: this morning I kindly texted him to transfer money into my acct please and his response to me was "transfer complete". So cold! He is the one that wanted to leave and he acts so rude to me! Why am I still so nice to him when he shattered my world? Obviously nothing worse can happen!!

 

The first few months of our separation I really thought he would come to his senses and come back. NOT! Now I know he has chosen this other life. It really sucks for us left as it feels like we don't get a choice in our own life!

 

thanks for listening. any advice would be appreciated!!

 

feelingfine

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i am so sorry he left you in that situation with kids and all.

 

i think one of the forum poster here told me that the ones doing the leaving are so immersed in their new life they become insensitive and unaware that they are hurting the other party.

 

i just wish you all the best, hang in there.

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Your still in the adjustment phase ~ still trying to figure it out ~ work it out! And you will. A year from now if not sooner you'll have planned it out and be working your plan. You'll have it down pat with military precision and efficiency that would make the Marines blush.

 

Single paenting is work, and so you must plan your work and work your plan.

 

Forget tha' @zzhat! You deserve and will find better than he.

 

Keep the faith!

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feelingfine

Ok, I believe you Gunny! I just didn't think that 9 months in it would still be so raw!! Will wait it out!

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It took you years to dig in? Its going to take more than nine months to dig out!

 

Less so because you've already dug you way in.

 

But its going to take some work to get back out.

 

This is really a great opportunity for you in your life. You know now that you don't need a man to complete you, support you!

 

You've probally not actually said the words in your mind? But you need a man like a fish needs a bicycle! :p

 

NOW you know not only what your looking for? But what your not looking for in not only a husband? But a LifeMate!

 

You've acquired in deep "defition" as to who and whst your about!

Edited by Gunny376
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but its not easy. This single parenting isn't all its cracked up to be! So, he chose to leave us for a younger woman...fine. Hard part is that I had to go from being the supportive wife/stay at home mom to a single working parent.

 

The only contact we have is usually via text regarding the kids or money. Ie: this morning I kindly texted him to transfer money into my acct please and his response to me was "transfer complete". So cold! He is the one that wanted to leave and he acts so rude to me! Why am I still so nice to him when he shattered my world? Obviously nothing worse can happen!!

 

The first few months of our separation I really thought he would come to his senses and come back. NOT! Now I know he has chosen this other life. It really sucks for us left as it feels like we don't get a choice in our own life!

 

thanks for listening. any advice would be appreciated!!

 

feelingfine

 

Oh I know this one! Cold texts, rudeness, curtness, yeah you're so right, they choose to leave and yet they can't be civil to you. Someone told me they were cold because it was hard for them, oh yeah, wait a min, that was my ex! "I know I am coming across hard and cold, but it's so difficult for me" REALLY? If it was that hard you wouldn't be doing it pal, this was your choice, no one forced anything on you, like you did me! My heart bleeds. (Never said that to him, am just finding my anger at the moment!)

 

OK, so trying not to go off on a rant and offer you some support :rolleyes:

 

Sounds like you are doing a great job of it. I don't have children and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you, your child is very lucky to have one dependable parent, one who will break their back to support them and provide what they need. You should be very proud of that.

 

I'm almost a year in, and I'm still an emotional wreck, I think this is going to take us both a long time to get past, but we are here for each other right and we'll get through it together, keep posting.

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Oh I know this one! Cold texts, rudeness, curtness, yeah you're so right, they choose to leave and yet they can't be civil to you. Someone told me they were cold because it was hard for them, oh yeah, wait a min, that was my ex! "I know I am coming across hard and cold, but it's so difficult for me" REALLY? If it was that hard you wouldn't be doing it pal, this was your choice, no one forced anything on you, like you did me! My heart bleeds. (Never said that to him, am just finding my anger at the moment!)

 

OK, so trying not to go off on a rant and offer you some support :rolleyes:

 

Sounds like you are doing a great job of it. I don't have children and I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you, your child is very lucky to have one dependable parent, one who will break their back to support them and provide what they need. You should be very proud of that.

 

I'm almost a year in, and I'm still an emotional wreck, I think this is going to take us both a long time to get past, but we are here for each other right and we'll get through it together, keep posting.

 

LisaUK!

 

You rock! :p:cool:

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feelingfine

Thanks Lisa!! All to familiar to you hu? Mine told me last April he wanted to go...so I am almost a year in too! Been through almost all of the firsts! My kids are doing good...he travels a LOT for work and is a workaholic so they have always been used to him gone. I don't think it is that different for them. As my therapist told me, in some way that is a positive thing for the kids.

 

How are you coping? some days I am glad he is gone and I don't have to see his crabby self or do all of his laundry, but mostly I am sad that he has a new love/sex partner and for the first time in my life I am experiencing jealousy! Never have had a reason to be jealous! I think I am a pretty fit and attractive 41 year old. 5'10 about 135lbs...into fashion and a healthy lifestyle. Few more wrinkles than I used to but ok looking! :)

 

What's your story? Is it posted here? I don't know how to find that stuff yet...I may do some looking. Maybe I have a new friend in you! :D

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Mouse -right click on Lisa name and it will pull up all of her posts ~ and you will find her initial thread.

 

 

Have a box of Klennix handy!

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LisaUK!

 

You rock! :p:cool:

 

:confused:

 

Thanks Lisa!! All to familiar to you hu? Mine told me last April he wanted to go...so I am almost a year in too! Been through almost all of the firsts! My kids are doing good...he travels a LOT for work and is a workaholic so they have always been used to him gone. I don't think it is that different for them. As my therapist told me, in some way that is a positive thing for the kids.

 

How are you coping? some days I am glad he is gone and I don't have to see his crabby self or do all of his laundry, but mostly I am sad that he has a new love/sex partner and for the first time in my life I am experiencing jealousy! Never have had a reason to be jealous! I think I am a pretty fit and attractive 41 year old. 5'10 about 135lbs...into fashion and a healthy lifestyle. Few more wrinkles than I used to but ok looking! :)

 

What's your story? Is it posted here? I don't know how to find that stuff yet...I may do some looking. Maybe I have a new friend in you! :D

 

Yep, mine was a workaholic as well! My story, it's here somewhere, back in June last year, so quick run down, together for 18 years, since high school, lived together 10 years, engaged 8 years, left me with no warning right after we booked the church to wed. I was in bed, just woke up and he came in and said "do you want to go out for the day" then "I want to break up" left about 30 mins later. So I had no where to live and no job/income so I got a lawyer got my money out of the property, returned to my parents (at 34! ICK) and went back to uni (school) doing a graduate in Law.

 

So that's me, and yes you have a friend in me, of course. :)

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Don't I know that coldness. I love the way he tries to get sensitive and he says, "If you all ever need anything just let me know" and then when I tell him I need something he can't be bothered. Well I call the adjustment phase "finding your new normal" and it will take a bit longer. You'll know you're fine when his insensitivity no longer bites and you breathe a big sigh of relief that you won't be putting up with that bustard any longer.

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Yep, mine was a workaholic as well! My story, it's here somewhere, back in June last year, so quick run down, together for 18 years, since high school, lived together 10 years, engaged 8 years, left me with no warning right after we booked the church to wed. I was in bed, just woke up and he came in and said "do you want to go out for the day" then "I want to break up" left about 30 mins later. So I had no where to live and no job/income so I got a lawyer got my money out of the property, returned to my parents (at 34! ICK) and went back to uni (school) doing a graduate in Law.

 

You go through all of this, are doing all of this and you give me a :confused: What next SuperGirl?

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Don't I know that coldness. I love the way he tries to get sensitive and he says, "If you all ever need anything just let me know" and then when I tell him I need something he can't be bothered. Well I call the adjustment phase "finding your new normal" and it will take a bit longer. You'll know you're fine when his insensitivity no longer bites and you breathe a big sigh of relief that you won't be putting up with that bustard any longer.

 

Throughout the forums one common thread? Self autonomy!

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