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Valentine's Day


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uggh.

For those of us on the couch but not out of the house...what do we do? It's awkward. I don't know whether to ignore it completely or give some small recognition of the day.

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Totally understand! My situation 100%. I was maybe, only maybe, thinking asking out for a day/date together. Been sepaerated since start of december. Both of us had one month of total hell after seperating. Been alot better since everthing has aired out. Still have had the really bad days in between. And still don't really know what is to become of all of this! AND ITS OUR 7 YEAR ANNIVERSARY THE DAY AFTER VALINTINES DAY! arghhh! Any response welcome.

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ooooh..the anniversary is more important. Since you're trying to work it out--then you should give a box of chocolates on V day and...jewerly or something on anniversary.

However she could be a tom boy and like a new electric drill for all I know.

Point being you are trying to work it out--

we aren't trying to work it out.

I have nothing to give him.

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tnttim,,,,,,,,hundo at the strippers,,,,,nice, might just do that! We call it an avacado down under, lol ! You go girl, good advice, absolutley taken onboard! I WILL DO BOTH AND KEEP YOU 2 POSTED! Cheers from Downunder!!

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skydiveaddict

I REFUSE to celebrate "Valentine's Day" what a joke. Not even two months after Christmas and it's already time for another expensive gift?

For what? Pardon me while I retch in disgust.

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"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go"



Herman Hesse

It's not about what you get, but how you react to what is given to u.

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If your out ~ your out!

 

Don't go there!

 

Just that plain!

 

Just that simple!

 

If its over?

 

Its over? Its over!

 

That's just the way it is!

 

The plain and simple truth!

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I wont be getting my husband anything for Valentine's Day. But I will help my daughter organise a present for his Birthday which is just a few days later.

 

It is possible that he will get me something though. I would hope not as that would seem even more bizzare than all the presents I received for my Birthday & Christmas?!?!?!?

 

On Valentine's Day I may even drink the bottle of Bollinger that he gave me. Just drink the whole lot by myself.:D

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when I was "on the couch" last year, I completely ignored it and it felt right. My wife didn't give me anything either... I was actually relieved... I never liked Valentine's Day, really... now that we are back together, it will feel very awkward indeed, since things are not 100% right still...:(

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Jane--I have nothing either. I think I'll do my best to ignore it. This I think is my last weekend at this house. The tension is so horrible on weekends you could cut it with a knife. During the week it's not so difficult to be scarce.

Giotto--I'd give a token gift. Chocolates, a card, a hug and kiss--something to show that you still care for her, because obviously you do. It certainly doesn't have to be expensive. Things may not be 'right' at this time, but you could show a sign of affection because things are better than last year, I take it.

Skydive--well nobody said expensive!

 

For a woman I suppose I'm unusual--I despise searching and finding almost all holiday gifts. They feel like obligations. I prefer to give something when I see a widget that I think will bring a smile, not by some calendar date. I feel pressured at holidays, especially since H is always ontop of holidays, plans long in advance. Hopefully he wont' have anything to give me either, or I'm going to feel bad.

Maybe I'll run out and get him a box of his favorite candy. It's a civil thing to do at this point--it's certainly no let's make up gift, and won't be interpreted as such either. Or will I...lol depends on how lazy I am today. It's going to be very awkward either way...and that's what I really want to avoid and can't. I should have blown out of town this weekend.

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J

Giotto--I'd give a token gift. Chocolates, a card, a hug and kiss--something to show that you still care for her, because obviously you do. It certainly doesn't have to be expensive. Things may not be 'right' at this time, but you could show a sign of affection because things are better than last year, I take it.

 

 

well, maybe... you made me cry... :rolleyes:

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I hate Valentine's Day coming up, we never did much anyway but he usually got me a nice card. I've thrown most of those away now, they didn't seem to have much meaning anymore.

 

I would say to ignore the day and do something else so you don't think about it. If you're working things out then maybe a simple card or a handwritten note is nice.

 

I'm not sure what happens when the first Anniversary comes around, that will be in July. I imagine that day will be hard.

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I've never liked V day. I would prefer to stay in bed the whole day and wake up the following day.

 

I will probably focus on my kids - my daughter is 7 and very into it. All the commercials and crap is making me sickkkkk.

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2.50 a gallon

I have spent many a Valentines day alone. But did learn it is a great night to meet somebody, the ladies are just as lonely as you. Take the lines from Bob Segar, "We've got tonight", both of us lonely, etc. In short, I am not the one you want, and your are not the one that I want, but for tonight we have each other.

 

Go out, be optimistic, women like a man who thinks positive. You just might meet somebody

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tnttim,,,,,,,,hundo at the strippers,,,,,nice, might just do that! We call it an avacado down under, lol ! You go girl, good advice, absolutley taken onboard! I WILL DO BOTH AND KEEP YOU 2 POSTED! Cheers from Downunder!!

 

Valintines day,, I wraped a box of chocolates and gave them to her. She really didn't want to open them but eventually did and was, lets say a little bit thankfull of the thought I guess. No hug no kiss. Which was ok, Just accepting the gift was good enough for me at this point in time.

Next day 7 year anniversary,,,,hhhmmm. I went to work and had 7 long stem roses delivered,,,got the phone call at work from her and she couldn't believe it was me that organised this. Came home from work and was met at the door (which has never happened since seperated). SHE GIVES ME A HUG!! WOW! Says thank you and that it was nice .I still had another gift. A gold watch! I gave her the gold watch and it kiind of back fired! She freaked out a bit started crying,, tells me what she's spose to do, that she is confused more crying etc etc. The watch is still unopened and has not be talked about since and is still in the same place where I gave it to her!! Let say things are just "ok" atm. Where do I go from here?

Thats right, counciling for me on friday!

Heres hoping from AussieDave!

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AussieDave:

 

I have to say the gold watch may have been overkill. The chocolates and the flowers, bingo.

 

As a wife who received nothing (not even a happy V day) from their H, the sentiment on your part was sweet and obviously welcome. Maybe a second flower arrangement, or a gift certificate for a massage or something small but thoughtful for her to mark your anniversary would have been better than the VERY expensive gold watch.

 

I have to admit I walked into my house on the evening of V day (had been out with the kids all day) and expected to be greeted with at least a card. And I was prepared not to read it. Not receiving anything was kind of a relief. ;-) On your side, I would think that receiving such an extravagant gift from you kind of sent her into a tailspin. If I were in her shoes, I probably would have reacted VERY similarly.

 

Small steps, Dave. Best of luck...

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Aww shucks...so the watch wasn't received well. It might have been a little over the top--

but, don't beat yourself up over it. You gave a gift--it's not like you did something awful!

 

Around here V day was non-existant, which was just as well. Any gift would have been awkward because I didn't buy one in return.

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