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Filed for divorce


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I filed for divorce this morning and I was the first divorce of the new year. Wow! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I know this is the right thing but it hurts soooooooo bad. It makes me feel ridiculous to be so hurt when this man did not treat me right or care for me for such a long time. Why should I feel bad? I don't know. Part of it is grieving for myself- that I let myself live like that and be treated so badly for so long. Part of it is that I KNOW it is really over and done with now. The brief glimpses of the good man I wanted him to be is not really who he is. I will never have that life of happily ever after that I made up in my head with him. He will never change and be the great guy I wanted to believe was inside of him. I sad and hurt and angry and everything else. I think it is also hard for me to think of two things: 1. I know I will never talk to him/see him again 2. I know he's off enjoying life while I am sitting here feeling so upset. ARGGGHHHHH! But at least the divorce is filed- that's weight off my shoulders.

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Hi, I am so sorry for your pain. Divorce or the ending of any relationship is tough, even when the relationship was not good.

 

I am sort of in your shoes as well. I've been in a unhappy relationship for 4 yrs and tried to leave many times but always went back. Why, well cause he has so many good traits, But also has many bad ones.

 

Him and I have worked on our issues in therapy etc but it's just not ckicking.

 

I like you feel the loss of the man I wanted him to be and the life I wanted.

It takes time to move on from this pain.

 

Was this divorce mutual?

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Yes, it was mutual so I'm expecting him to sign the papers and have it done with by the middle of March. I think filing was really hanging over my head. It was stressing me out just not having it done. I feel relief that that is done and that I'm on the first step of creating a new life for myself. But it's frickin' scary!

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