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How can I avoid a bounce-back?


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Hello all,

 

I have separated from my "wife" after she had two affairs, and I am very happy with my decision. I want to thank everyone here on the forum's for your help and support through this. I had a vicious rollercoaster ride of emotion, and now I'm very happy I decided to leave and move on.

 

Here's my newest dilemma... how do I prevent jumping into something too serious too fast? I met a girl one night while hanging out with my friends (first woman I felt was STUNNING since my wife), and we exchanged numbers and now talk on the phone on a regular basis. I met her very soon after my issues with my wife, and I'm worried it's moving too fast. The obvious answer is "then slow it down!", but it's hard. Let me try to explain:

 

This new girl is amazing. She's beautiful, smart, funny, sarcastic (right up my alley) and just really fun to talk to. We come from different cultural/ethnic backrounds, but still have the same sense of humor and taste in music, movies, TV, etc. I'm really into her, and I definitely would date her exclusively had I been coming out of a different situation.

 

We both have some baggage. Mine is obvious, her's not as bad as mine... but it's baggage regardless. I've already told her multiple times "I don't want a girlfriend, a bounce-back, a new wife, etc... I just want to be friends, hang out and have a good time"... When I first told her this she got really excited saying thats all she wants too and she was nervous that I wouldn't be okay with that.

 

So now that I've gone out with her a few times, I find myself wanting to see her more and I know she is feeling the same way. I feel like we are both saying we want something, but are acting like we want something else.

 

I'm only 24, and because of how long I've been with my ex, I feel like I've never been truly single. I like the feeling A LOT, and I want to explore that for a while, and really I don't feel like I'm ready to give out my heart again. I'm still too fragile for that. It's just hard because she's so easy to talk to (I avoid talking to her about my ex, but she knows the situation. We just kind of shoot the breeze and she always makes me feel REALLY good).

 

I'm seeing her again this week... Am I being stupid? I don't want to hurt either of us by moving too fast.

 

Please help me out here, let me know if you have any additional questions. Thanks LS!

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can a mod pls delete this thread? I found a more appropriate section for this topic. Thanks.

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It sounds like you really are interested in this girl.Remember that you might like other woman too.Keep your options open go on a few dates get to know them well.Sometimes being a friend first makes a better realationship later.Take time having fun before settling down so later you dont have to question what you have missed.You need time to find yourself the more you like yourself the more you have to offer another.You have plenty of time so enjoy have fun you deserve it.

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