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undecided spouse


Separation and Divorce Considering ending your marriage? Going through a divorce? Let us know!

Old 9th April 2003, 12:03 PM   #1
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undecided spouse

My wife and I seperated by her wishes after she had an affair. She says she is trying to figure out who she is, rebuild her self esteem, and decide whether or not we can fix our marriage.

She is teatering on the divorce question. We make wonderful friends, but make aweful spouses. I have forgiven her and would welcome her back with open arms. I think we need to first work on our friendship and then our private and sexual issues. While we are seperated I see her every day for dinner etc. There is no romance at this point, but we stick it out for the sake of our baby.

I have thought about dating again, but honestly don't have the guts to do it. While I do love my wife I know there are better women out there that can give me the affection that I crave.

Bearing all this in mind I am still willing to work on our marriage. She says she can't make up her mind if she wants to work on it or not.

Thoughts?
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Old 9th April 2003, 12:17 PM   #2
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YOU WRITE: "We make wonderful friends, but make aweful spouses. I have forgiven her and would welcome her back with open arms. I think we need to first work on our friendship and then our private and sexual issues."

Your post is filled with contradictions, which I suppose is due to your confused emotional state at this time.

In the quote above, you first say you make wonderful friends...then you say you must first work on the friendship. You say you make aweful spouses...if that's so, why would you want to work on the marriage?

Your post clearly indicates this is a gross mismatch. You don't stay in a bad marriage for the sake of a child. Children deserve parents who love each other and who get along and can provide a loving, stable environment for them. Kids can sense when it's an act.

Get a divorce, take good care of your child, and go find a partner who is worthy...and do a much better job of doing that next time. You don't need to be around a woman has to think about whether or not she wants to be with you.

Life is way too short for this kind of BS. Get your life going in a positive direction ASAP!
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